How Can Wright Be So Wrong?

The Rev. Jeremiah Wright must be enjoying his 15 minutes of fame. After all, this man of God(???) is single-handedly trying to ruin the campaign of Barack Obama. I just wonder what his agenda is.
Apparently, he has always been a vehement critic of the country's treatment of its black citizens as he should be. Black people have had shoddy treatment. No one can deny that. All you have to do is think back to some of the television news reports you have seen over the years. Blacks being beaten, blasted with water hoses, kept out of schools, the list goes on and on. I think resentment is not a shocking outcome of that kind of treatment.
But now, a black man, one of his former parishioners, has the opportunity to become the president of the United States. Really. Not just a token black candidate but a viable contender. How on earth does Wright justify his rantings when he knows that Obama is so tied to him even if it is only in name and a past relationship? Maybe once, he might have done it and then realized his error and not done it again but no-o-o, he just keeps at it getting more critical and grotesque with every passing speaking event.
So I'm thinking, Wright doesn't really care about his people or the injustice, he only cares about Jeremiah Wright and becoming famous. What other explanation there could be escapes me.
Reverend Wright, you are dead WRONG!!!

Man, Oh Man III

Okay, I have to talk about the NBC news reporter Ron Allen. He has been covering the Obama campaign for the last few months and he just cracks me up. He has the saddest looking face I have ever seen. I call him Ron"I lost my dog" Allen. When they show him reporting and then cut to Obama, it is like watching the tragedy and comedy masks come to life. Even when he has good news, Ron looks sad. I think he's on a nationwide quest to find that darn, elusive dog!
Then, I saw that Gary Coleman is on Divorce Court. He is divorcing his 22 year old wife. His problem is he is just so angry--all the time. Remember when he was a little guy and he always looked so cute and eager? Now he looks all scowly and he has shaved off most of that cute little Afro. Apparently, one of the bones of contention is sex. He was a virgin when they got married(eight months ago--he's 40) so apparently he is having a little trouble with the finer points (i know I know I didn't want to know this either) and he doesn't want kids but he promised her one.
And my favorite, Wesley Snipes, is going to do jail time for not paying his taxes. Oh my gosh, did Hollywood learn nothing from Willy Nelson? The government really wants their money. I love Wesley. I think he is handsome and I even loved the movies he made called Blade ( the original and the two sequels). He pranced around in this long leather coat and he had all kinds of weapons for killing vampires; not my usual cup of tea but for him, I was willing to make an exception. And now he has to go to jail for the stupidest reason!
Speaking of stupid, did you see the President this weekend?? He was doing his favorite style of dancing -you know that weird booty shaking thing he does?? IN NEW ORLEANS!!! I'm sure they loved that--he couldn't send aid during Katrina but he can dance up a storm there now. How does he keep going?? Then he was at some journalist dinner and couldn't hear what was said so he had to be told and boy did he yuck it up! The comedian could hardly keep a straight face. Then I saw him make a serious speech but I don't know what it was about because I was totally distracted by the Secret Service guy in the background who looked like he thought he was hiding behind a bush but you could see him. It was a riot.
Anyway, now this morning I am seeing my favorite man--the dentist. Hope he has paid his taxes, has no anger issues, and doesn't try dancing during my appointment! And I dearly hope he hasn't lost his dog!

RIP

Someday I plan ahead what I am going to write about. I was going to write about Man,Oh, Man III today but it will have to wait. Fate intervened. I ran over a squirrel this morning on my way home from the grocery store.
I used to do a great imitation(at least I think it is pretty funny) of those squirrels who dash out into the street when cars are coming down the road. You know the ones who hesitate in the street like they don't know what to do? I used to do a darn funny dialogue of what was going on in its head. I will never do it again.
Years ago, when my kids were pretty little I ran over a pigeon. I never liked pigeons and I really didn't fee l bad at all. My kids were just horrified that I wasn't more upset and they were sure I was an unfeeling person(just for that moment they have since gotten over it). I always thought pigeons were dirty creatures and I wasn't much of a bird fan.(That all changed when my sister got her little bird, PJ) I really didn't feel that bad about it.
I also hit a creature of the night. I'm not sure if it was a raccoon or a badger but it was on the way home from a trip to NY with my daughter and my best friend. First I saw the glowing eyes, then My car bumped and the tires went flup, flup and I clutched the steering wheel for all I was worth. I heard a voice say just keep going--I thought it was my best friend but she swears not so I think it was my guardian angel(or hers). Never felt bad at all--scared out of my wits but not sorry.
Why is a squirrel so different? I have to admit I burst into tears as soon as I saw the poor little thing in my rearview mirror. Before I hit it I just saw a little flash of that tannish grey color of its little body and I hoped I would miss. But the bump was unmistakable and then I saw the remains. Maybe because it happened so fast and its little life was snuffed out like nothing. I don't know. But say a little prayer for the departed. I did and I hugged my cat for good measure.
One thing for sure, even if someone begs me I will never do my impression of the panicked squirrel ever again.

Movin' On Up

My son just moved into an apartment on W. 9th street. Until today, I had no idea where that even was. He could have moved to a completely different state as far as I was concerned. I am not good at directions and have never spent any time downtown or in the Flats or anywhere that was cool when I was younger. I pretty much stuck to the suburbs. It is a practice I continue to this day.
As you go downtown, you pass many little suburbs but the one that always catches my attention is the community of Euclid. Euclid is where I grew up and worked and I have a strong affection for it. However, the freeway now has sound barriers for the people who live near it and it looks like jail!!!!!!! Honest, Willowick or Wickliffe(I am never sure what community it is right there at the freeway) has pretty red brick with little insets with cranes and foliage. Really nice. Euclid has a little bit of that too but the majority is gray cement panels. Yuck!
I think Euclid civic leaders and art teachers should get together and have the talented art students of the city paint those babies. It could be unique and beautiful. Even if they went the graffiti art route, it would be a nice reflection of the culture of the city. Some students can be extremely able artists and their talent could stand up against some professionals.
Wouldn't that be an ego boost for the students and a perk for the community? Oh the police would have to cooperate too and put up orange barrels in the right hand lane so the kids would be safe but we do that all the time for construction so it shouldn't be a big deal.
It would be a sign of a proud community. It would be a cooperative venture among the civic leaders, teachers, and citizens of the city. I personally am all for it!!!(like they care what I think)
So next time you drive that stretch of freeway, imagine how it would look. Bet you would think it's a good idea too.

I'm Not the Only One

Well, I went back to Oprah class yesterday. It was the same old enlightenment. Just so you know. I listened to them talk about how to get rid of your pain body. Everybody has one of those. It is all the things that make you feel sad or bad about yourself. Some of us have little ones and some of us have big ones. I think mine is medium size but I'm not sure.
They also talked about how we "enlightened beings" should interact with the rest of you. You know who you are!! Some guy named Dave wanted to know how he could get his wife more enlightened.
Now, Dave, I would have said(had he asked me)- that is not very enlightened of you. Nobody can fix another human being. (I would have needed a barf bag on the side for gagging into.) He was such a sanctimonious little man. He didn't like arguing with her. My guess is that he didn't like the arguments because she was usually right. He did see light at the end of the tunnel though.(Barf bag alert). As he printed the worksheets for this weeks class, the wife looked at them and said "Oh, you're talking about me." This he found as a sign of hope.
Now I don't know about you but that all seems a little self righteous doesn't it? Dave needs to get a grip and show his wife that he loves and respects her not that he needs to fix her. Bottom line, if I could talk to Dave's wife, she would get my utmost sympathy for putting up with that jerk!!
Even Oprah(the second most enlightened being on the planet after Eckhart Tolle) was rolling her eyes. I didn't think she had much of a leg to stand on though as she told a story about how she was in a room with someone with a GIANT pain body and it was so awful she had to leave the room. Now that is enlightenment--find a fellow man with problems and just scurry from the room! God forbid you should try and help.
I know I sound like a judgemental old thing now but really, these are the people who are enlightened?? Give me darkness any day!

Ebony and Ivory

Poor Barack Obama. He thinks that if he is elected he will be the first black President of the United States. Well, he is wrong. I know because I heard it on television. Bill Clinton was the first black President. SAY WHAT????
Bill said it himself. I heard him. Apparently he has never looked in the mirror or else he has the same plastic surgeon as Michael Jackson. Yes, Michael Jackson is the whitest black man in history.....except for Clinton.
I don't remember hearing this about Clinton while he was in office. Maybe he became black after he left office. That would explain why I never noticed. But I hate to break it to him. He wasn't the first black president either.
It was Abraham Lincoln!!! Its true. Just ask my kindergarten students. We had an old reproduction of Lincoln from an old Sunday magazine and it was dark. The kids were always convinced that Lincoln was black. I don't know if Lincoln ever took advantage of that or not. He did free the slaves after all. It made perfect sense to those five -year -olds.
So that got me wondering....is Chelsea Clinton black then? I know Hillary is not. No way could she ever claim to be--she has that whiter than white skin like I have. Bet she burns every summer! But Chelsea does have that curly hair--not any more but when she was a kid, remember? Maybe Bill is telling the truth. So someday maybe Chelsea can run for president and she can claim to be the first black, woman candidate.
Frankly, I'd vote for her. Nobody can call me a racist either, Mr. Clinton!

I'm a Little Bit Clairvoyant

I used to collect cow stuff. I had stuffed cows and ceramic cows and appliances with cow spots and even cow clothes. I do not collect them any more--somewhere over the years I just got a little tired of it. I now call it my cow phase.
I told my sister once (quite some time ago) that chickens would be the next big "thing." So imagine my not so surprise when we were in Michael's the other day and there was a whole aisle dedicated to TAH-Dah!--chickens. I knew it. It may have taken a while but I just knew it.
On Sunday, my son was coming over to go shopping for his new place. I had just gotten the phone to call him when he pulled in the drive. See what I mean?? Are you seeing a pattern here?
Sometimes my ability scares me a little. Like I knew that George Bush was going to win both times(do not confuse that with voting for him). My son has a theory that in the last election somehow the majority of people were brainwashed somehow. He may be right. I am trying to fight off the creepy, clairvoyant feeling that it could happen again.
Did you see the candidates on the WWF??? What the????????? You don't have to be clairvoyant to see that they are all a little desperate for one reason or another. Hillary called herself "Hill-rod", Barack said "wail till you see what Barack is cooking" and McCain said that he has McCainiacs. I don't know what any of that means but it all sounds desperate to me. I am having a clairvoyant moment that tells me that none of them knew what that meant either!!
Anyway it is a huge responsibility to have this talent-even a little bit. I can't predict the weather or any important event but ask me what comes after chickens and I might just know!!

Failing Enlightenment

Oprah would be so sad about me. I haven't gone to class in three weeks. I do have a good excuse--I was on vacation for two of those weeks and nobody goes to class on vacation. I am not doing to well on remembering the lessons I did learn anyway.
First, I am mad at a few people. I wont mention names but one was really unkind and just nasty to a loved one of mine. The other one was thoughtless and inconsiderate to me. I am not forgiving of them. My ego won't let me. I cannot dig the fact that their behavior is their ego and not their real "selves". Or that it is just their pain bodies acting out. Oh no, they were both just mean. Thoughtlessly mean, perhaps, but mean just the same.
So am I rising above it all and staying in the now? NO WAY!!! I am not Gandhi. I am not Oprah. I am not even the best Sue I can be. SO there!! It is easy to be enlightened when you are a respected world leader or the richest woman in the entertainment field. I'm pretty sure nobody is ever mean to them. Even though comedians make fun of them, I'm thinking they can probably handle it.
Me, not so much. I take things to heart. I am a little insecure. I want people to be nice to me and mine. I don't want to be forgiving people all the time and understanding them. I want people to understand me. Is that so wrong? I don't think so.
Second, that Ekhart Tolle guy gives me the creeps a little. He is just too calm for words. I wonder if he has a family or friends. He doesn't say much so I wonder if anyone can really connect with him. I guess I like passionate people better than calm ones. Maybe that is because I am a little intense myself.
Third, I can't be still. I can't seem to help myself. My head is almost always reeling. I thought it was a sign of creativity but apparently it is just my ego and pain body stayin' alive. Well, maybe that's ok. The whole class seems to be telling me that I am far from ok. I understand it but I can't seem to do it.
So, if you meet up with me don't expect me to be in the now or nonreactive or completely kind and nonjudgemental. I'm still just me but remember...I'm OK, You're OK!

I KNEW IT!

Remember how I said I was getting fat? Well, I was right. I found out from the doctor that I have a " Fat infiltration of the liver." It just means my liver is fat. And guess what?? Having a fat liver makes it hard to lose weight! The liver helps to keep you less fat. I didn't know that but it does.
Talk about adding insult to injury.
What really kills me is that I really try to eat well. No chips and dip, no cookies, not too many fries, small meals and I try not to eat anything after dinner. Now I do this with varying degrees of success but lately I really thought I had it going on. Now this!
Well, I plan to feel sorry for myself for a couple of days and then I am getting over it. My fat liver and I will just have to learn to live with each other.

A Tale of Two Cats

Aaron is named after the boy who used to own her and mistreat her. Really we think the boy's name was Aaron but he gave his name when my daughter asked the cat's name and so the name stuck.
Moose is named after a horse. She was born in a barn on a dude ranch and she got the name from a five year old boy. He took a lot of pride in telling me how he named her.
Aaron has an eating disorder. She is bulimic. It probably comes from when she was young and didn't know if she would get another meal.
Moose is just a pig. She always knows where her next meal is coming from and she cries until she gets it. She gets treats too. Her owners are easy marks.
Aaron is a cryer. She cries even if you are in the same room with her. It sounds like a combination between a cry and a howl and a screech.
Moose knows how to talk. No, really. She says "Mom" but not that nicely. It's more like a snotty teenagers "Mo-o-M" If she could roll her eyes she would.
Aaron likes to sit down on the foot of the bed. She sits on a little blanket that her owner put there for her.
Moose like to lie on the bed as close to the pillow as possible. One of her owners is allergic--that's why...I'm sure of it.
Aaron is a people cat. She loves company and struts around and gets in everyone's face until they pet her and compliment her.
Moose is a scaredy cat. She hides if she hears the least little noise. She doesn't come out until she knows it's safe.
Erin and Moose are both black. They both have a tendency to slink around a bit. Even though Aaron is skinny and Moose is fat(sorry, chunky) they both have a tendency to blend into the background especially in the evening so you could trip over them. Almost have, over both of them.
Erin and Moose are loved and loving. I never used to like cats--in fact, I would have said I hated cats. But Moose and her cute little kitty ways changed my mind. I still don't like cats on the counters or on the table and I am cleaning up cat fur constantly but she has been a good friend to me and I love her dearly. Oh, and Aaron is ok too.

Blood, Sweat and Tears

Give blood if you can. We do and it really makes me feel good. I like the thought of helping my fellow man. My life was saved by frozen plasma a few years ago so I really want to give back! Just think they could put frozen plasma into your body and it does something good! You would think it would turn you into a Popsicle or something but it doesn't. The most amazing part is that I could go home the next day. I had to take it easy but home I went.
I can still remember being in the operating room. I was rushed there from the doctor's office and went in through emergency. I told the doctor I felt like I was on ER because they kept saying "stat" and other medical terms I'd learned from the show. That made them laugh.
I remember in triage(learned that from MASH) the nurse couldn't believe I was even sitting up--My blood pressure was that low. So anyway, you know the result as I am still here.
It isn't easy to give blood. It's not for the faint of heart or for someone who hates needles. I have to be honest here. I did say you should give if you can.
It doesn't take very long--the longest part is the questionnaire and the little exam they do. It requires nothing but a finger prick and a heart listen. Once you are hooked up, you squeeze a little ball for about ten minutes and you fill a bag. Presto! You may have saved somebody's life just like someone saved mine.
There is always a prize. Sometimes it is a tee shirt, a pin or a coupon for an inexpensive restaurant. They give out other things too--that is just a sampling. The best part if after you get cookies(and sometimes pizza) and a drink. I don't really eat cookies any other time of the year(except Christmas) so it is a real treat. I hardly ever drink a sugary soda either so it is double fun for me.
After you give blood, you have to take it easy for a few hours. No house work or heavy lifting or washing dishes or anything like that. After you lose blood like I did it takes a long time to get back to normal. About a year. I was sluggish and had memory loss and had a hard time talking because I couldn't find the words. It was all after effects of the blood loss I sustained.
So give blood if you can. You might be tired for a couple of hours but the person you help will be grateful for a lifetime.

Things I Learned on My Vacation

1. Two slightly tipsy women can lift a 27" television and not drop it.
2. A blind guy can take a stroll in the dark--doesn't really matter to him.
3. In and Out Burger takes a little longer than that.
4. Cats miss you.
5. More people watch Science Fiction than you would think.
6. TARGET is the best store in the world.
7. I don't get lost as easily as I thought.
8. I have a weak stomach when it comes to mountain climbing.
9. Three people can share a bathroom.
10. I am allergic to smoke and mulberry.
11. Waiting at the airport while they fix a problem is better than finding the problem once you're off the ground!!

Home again, Home again....

I am sleep deprived or jet lagged or something. We got in late last night and were home before we knew it. I am so glad my house was in order thanks to my hard work before we left. I just don't want to clean house right now since I am staring at a mountain of laundry!! Isn't that always the worst part of vacation?? All that dirty laundry you have to drag home and get done.
Anyway, my eyes are half open, my hair is a little sideways and I don't really want to straighten it. I am not tired but lethargic. I'd rather be tired! So it is a good thing all the dishes are clean and the sheets are new and the towels all fluffy. Thank you, Susan!!(from myself)
Our daughter was a tireless hostess. She has two jobs and she still made time to haul us around and feed us(she even cooked one night and it was delish!!) She treated us to Spamelot at the Wynn and bought the wine for dinner. She gladly slept on her couch(which is brand new and beautiful) and shared her bathroom space. All us girls know how hard that is! Three in a bathroom...Yikes!!
Our son did his fair share too. He looked after the cat and brought in the newspaper. The cat was happy and the newspapers were piled neatly on Kevin's chair, ready to be read. It is really great to know someone you trust is looking after things while you are gone.
Getting away is always fun and this was no exception and (except for the laundry) coming home is not too bad either.

How High the Moon?

Last night I saw these Russian acrobats on Fremont Street in Vegas. Fremont St. is the old fashioned rinky dink Vegas with lots of lights, cheap food, large drinks, and entertainment. It is a blast. It is where you see that famous cowboy neon sign--there's a girl one too,
Anyway these acrobats were astounding. Two young men held a little gal up on this springy pole. They had it on their shoulders. She would steady herself and give a sign and they would flex their knees and so would she and she would shoot up off that thing like a rocket and jump high and do maybe a sommersault or two and then land back on the pole. OHMYGOSH!
I never really saw anything like it before. I wonder how they ever got the idea to do it. I wonder if their mothers know they do it. Oh, it's not so bad for the boys but that little girl(not too young just tiny)! Does her mother know what she does for a living? No net , no nothing. Just a bunch of Vegas revelers applauding her efforts.
If I was her mom I wouldn't never be able to watch her perform. I'd be there with my eyes shut!

Home on the Range

We spent some time on Mt. Charleston int he Spring Mts. and at Red Rock park the last two days. They are both beautiful and majestic. You feel inspired to sing America the Beautiful.
It was really warm at Red Rock and nice and cool at Mt. Charleston. There was a lodge at the top of the mountain with horse drawn carriage rides and a Christmas shoppe. The million dollar plus homes are perched like eagle's nests and have a spectacular view. The streets are named Kris Kringle and Jack Frost and Snow White. I loved it up there. It was like Fantasy land for grown ups.
Red Rock was stark and looked more like desert. There was an old quarry and vistas that were breath taking. You could hike and climb. my husband and daughter did a little climbing and I just got sick to my stomach! I couldn't bear the thought of either one of them losing their footing. Of course, they are both fine. However, my fears are not unfounded as there was an airlift on Mt. Charleston the day we were there and also at Red Rock--they even had to close the scenic drive through the park to clear out the victim(s).
The craziest thing is just 20 minutes from this wild and remote beauty is VEGAS!!!! As you drive away from either place you cans see the Stratosphere and NYNY in the skyline. It is kind of freaky. Talk about from the sublime to the ridiculous!
We are seeing a side of Vegas that I never really thought about. The people who live here have nice communities. There are gated neighborhoods and construction all over the place. They are even building new highways(and I mean brand new). I know one thing for sure, I have never seen so many restaurants in my life. If I lived here I would never cook again! Within a mile of my daughter's condo, there are 500 restaurants(really) and if you go to 5 miles the number is astronomical!! So I really wouldn't cook. Really!

Horton Sees a"What the heck??"

We had breakfast at an IHOP yesterday morning and a little boy behind us ordered the Whoville pancakes. Have you seen the ad for those things?? Horton the elephant comes running over to talk to the kid's pancakes(whatever) It is a stack of pancakes with pink and blue rivers of Icing or syrup coming down and a lollipop stuck in the top. Every time we see the ad I cringe. They looked so gross to me.
Nothing could prepare me however for the sight of the real thing! Imagine that stack with the lollipop and the rivers of pink and grayish purple(yep, so not blue) sliding down the sides. The two colors had blended together and hence the purplish stuff. And for the clincher it came with a side of chocolate chips! YUM!
We could hardly wait to see what the kid(who looked to be about 4 or 5) would do once he got the breakfast of his dreams. The first five or so minutes he spent placing the chocolate chips strategically around the pancake stack. He also removed the lollipop (smart kid). He then took his fork and attacked the top pancake.
We all know kids have some weird eating habits. I did as a kid and so did my kids. How many of my kindergartners licked all the frosting off the cupcake and threw out the cake? Hundreds! At dinner later that evening, our waitress told us that her 14 year old never eats any vegetables or fruit or meat just milk, water and cereal. The kid has never been sick a day in his life--not even a cold! Who knows, maybe he's on to something!
Anyway, don't order those pancakes. Horton never even showed up!

Vegas, Baby

Once you go a block or two from the last downtown casino, Las Vegas is much like any other southwestern town I've been in. In other words, despite the different architecture, pretty much like Mentor or Lyndhurst or your town.
There is WalMart and Target and the grocery store. They do seem to have more than their fair share of restaurants but that in itself is comforting. You see, my daughter lives here now and I worry about her being on her own. Now don't misunderstand me. She has a great job, a darling condo, good friends and a busy life. But I am her mother. I still worry. It is my right.
Having adult children is very challenging. You still want to parent but you don't really need to. You probably shouldn't. It is easier said than done. You have to remind yourself of all the silly mistakes you made when you were a young adult and how you survived to become the person you are.
You can't take that away from your own children. That would be the opposite of parenting. So you try to work on a new kind of relationship that is part parent, part kind-of-a-friend thing, You find common ground and interests. You reminisce and enjoy thinking about the past. You listen to their hopes and frustrations and try not to give too much advice and none if they don't ask for it.
In the back of your mind and when you have time on your own to think--then you interfere and give advice but only in your head. A good parent of an adult child keeps that to himself/herself unless of course that child is headed for disaster(such as drug use or alcohol abuse) but even then maybe your hands are tied. Luckily, I don't know.
Anyway, my baby lives in Vegas and I am working on thinking of her less as my baby and more as a woman. It's a sure bet that's the right thing to do.

The Tie That Binds

Yesterday we hosted a happy hour for our daughter's friends. They were a lovely bunch of young people who were polite and acted interested in what we had to say. At first, things were a little awkward as we were all strangers to one another. In spite of my daughter's many stories about them it is just not the same as really talking to someone.
I don't do well with small talk and neither does my husband so it was a little quiet and I thought the ice might not get broken. After all, we are the same age as these kids' parents and we don't have much in common. Or so I thought.
My many years of watching television finally came in handy. We met a Lost fan, Battlestar Gallactica fans, people who watch Torchwood(BBC SciFi), a MASH fan, and even a Meerkat Manor fan. Suddenly we could share our favorite characters and what we thought was likely to happen. We could talk about who was pretty, who was a bad guy and why we liked a certain part of the story or a certain person. We could ask people how they could even watch certain shows.
We may have come to common ground no matter what but the old boob tube made the conversation more lively right away. There wasn't a person in the room that didn't have a "guilty pleasure" that they watched from Dancing With the Stars to my own personal favorite, REBA. ( I know, I know)
We shared laughs and food and drink and got to know each other a little better. So, thanks CBS, ABC, NBC, BBC, SciFi channel and yes, even you, Lifetime. You helped me make some new friends and I appreciate it.

Man, oh,Man II

Yesterday at the Cleveland airport A man was ahead of me(there was one guy between us turned out he was Japanese with little English--another story) and he left his ticket where he put his items in those little bins they give you. By the way, those are on an automatic return now and it is much easier. Anyway, I told the Japanese guy and he yelled TICKET at the guy. Not looking the least bit worried, the man picked up his ticket and carried on with his business. Now if I had left my ticket anywhere even for the briefest of moments, I would be having a spaz attack to end all spaz attacks. He was fine with it.
Then as I am getting my belongings after getting checked in, there is one shoe sitting on the end of the belt. Three guesses...the same guy!!! I called out to him and he came and got it and smiled at me and said that he probably would need it and went on his merry way. Now this was no old guy. Probably in his sixties(not old, my young readers)...he didn't have a wife to look out after him in the airport!
Then we went to get a bite to eat. Three men in their thirties were on the phone with the same person, passing it around so it piqued my interest so I started to eavesdrop.(Oh, you do it too!!) Well, the one fella says, she is really skinnier than ever did you see her legs and she might have to go back to the hospital. What kind, caring men. probably a family member with an eating disorder.
Then the subject turns to how much their kids weighed when they were born. Theses are men, I think to myself, way to go. The one guy says oh his kids only weighed 10 lbs together. One was 6lbs5oz and I am thinking to myself now(and the other one was a peanut?????) but the other one was 5lbs 110z so they must have added up to around 12. I swear that is what he said. now i am really fascinated and this same knucklehead says that they were at the hospital for 18 hours. And Kim(the wife, poor girl) had a epidural and didn't feel a thing. They gave it to her after 12 hours of labor!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear that is what he said. What in the heck did he think she was feeling for the 12 hours before she got it!
I am proud to tell you that I didn't crack up laughing in the guy's face but I am going to call poor Kim and tell her next time--he should have the labor!!

Man, Oh, Man

Powerful men interest me. I think a powerful man should be strong- looking, acting and thinking. He should present well to the public. He should look healthy and attractive and well dressed. A powerful man should command respect and should be admirable in some way. I guess I am saying that he should look and act the part.
George Bush is a powerful man. Did you see him on his visit with Putin in Russia? Oh my gosh, he looked like a nervous school boy. I don't think the leader of the free world should be shrugging his shoulders in a nervous kind of way as Putin talks to him. It was pretty obvious that Putin makes Bush uncomfortable. Is Putin unapproachable? Is there a language barrier? Does Putin understand English and Bush understand no Russian whatsoever? Probably all of those are true. After all, Putin is ex KGB. Anyone who wasn't a little intimidated by him would be just plain stupid. But to me, a powerful man wouldn't let his body language show it! Especially not on television!
Another powerful man is Ted Turner. Doesn't he own Atlanta or something? Well, at least he used to be married to Jane Fonda and she married powerful men. Anyway, he has a theory that he was happy to share with the media--that in thirty or forty years we would all be cannibals. Our society as it stands today will fall into oblivion. Well, Ted, thanks for sharing that. Too bad you have NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!!!! Like use your money to help solve problems. No wonder Jane left you--none too soon if you ask me.
John McCain is a powerful man too. He is running for president unopposed in his party. Did you see him in Memphis during the MLK memorial service? He made a speech but I didn't hear any of it. I saw it on Jon Stewart and he was talking in a rainstorm while a BLACK MAN held an umbrella over his head!!!!!!!! WHAT?????????????? Wouldn't you have at least asked for a white guy?? I would have--it would seem only right to me, since he was talking about civil rights and all. Or here's a concept, how about holding your own umbrella??????????? The umbrella holder wasn't too interested in the speech anyway. He just kept staring off into space around McCain. He reminded me of one of my students who was tired of listening to me go on and on. It was pretty funny.
Anyway, there are a lot of powerful men out there and if this trio is a sampling of them I say we might be in trouble. Not as much trouble as Ted Turner thinks we're in but trouble just the same!

Keep on Walkin'

I am a mall walker. I am not a fanatic about it but I try to go up there at least three times a week. On the weekends Kevin and I go together. It is good for our health plus we go out to breakfast after we are done. We even walked for Meals on Wheels a couple of weeks ago. It feels good to do something healthy and help a great organization at the same time. Our son came too. That really made me proud. But, as you know, pride goeth before a fall.
MY FEET ARE KILLING ME! Not just as in, I am tired from a long day or an especially long walk, oh no, as in I am an old lady who needs a podiatrist. I am limping around here today like I have thousand pounds on my feet. I am stepping gingerly and as little as possible until I can get to the doctor.
I have to go as tomorrow we leave on our vacation to visit our daughter. I cannot be in Vegas and not be able to walk! I have things to do, slots to pull, sights to see, shopping, hosting a party for our daughter's coworkers. There is no time for pain!
The pain did not really hit until last night. Oh, I've had twinges but you know how it is...you think it will be better in the morning or it is just arthritis. So today I crawled out of bed at 7am, took my shower, put on toenail polish and called the doctor. On line, it said they opened at 8 am. Wrong-9am. So I am writing to you while I wait to call. Luckily, they have same day service or I don't know what I would do.
Oh yes I do. I would visit Dr. Scholl. I would try to find some kind of insert to help with the pain and just bite the bullet. I am an excellent bullet biter.
Anyway, do you remember the Real McCoys? They had old Granpappy Amos and he limped around the farm(?) and pumped his arms up and down as he walked. That's me minus the arm pumping.
So very soon I will hobble to the doctor and get fixed up--if they accept my insurance and if they really have same day appointments! Then I'll be ready to go and have a great time in Vegas.

One Life to Lizzle

I know very little about Snoop Dogg. Up until recently I only knew he was skinny, with braids, rapped and made up some kind of silly language of his own that seemed only to add "izzle" to random words in his vocabulary mixed with street language I didn't get.
Imagine my surprise when I found out he and I share a guilty pleasure. He has watched One Life to Live ever since he was a little boy!
Imagine. His mother, Mrs. Dogg, used to watch it in their "crib"(which in case you don't know means not a bed) and he is hooked! Not only is he a fan but he is going to make an appearance on the show for a couple of days. I don't know if he is coming on as himself or what but I sure would like to see him with Vicki--she is such a proper lady. Or with Dorian, who is such a Bi-otch. They probably wont get to meet him though. He will probably be at the night club with the younger set.
Get this, he even reworked the show's theme song! I can hardly wait to hear that. Off the top of my head I can't even hum the song to myself but I am sure it will be delightful. It probably will be a rap and I can't even begin to guess how it will go, not being much of a poet myself.
Believe me, stranger things have happened on Snoop's and my favorite show than a gangsta rapper coming to Llanview. Come to think of it , this is one of the most normal things to happen in a long time. For shizzle!!

Clean Slate

I love the morning. Somehow the promise of a new day opens up a myriad of opportunities and possibilities. I always feel my best in the morning. I feel energized and happy and excited. As the day wears on though some of this fades so I am not one of those super-chipper people.
The morning means you can start your diet over again. Even when you blew it all to smithereens yesterday with the hot fudge sundae or a Big Mac and fries. You are fresh and a new. Anything is possible. Twelve hundred calories for the day is more than enough. Just think of all the lettuce you can eat!
The morning means you can finally start that project. It might be spring cleaning or writing a novel. You can mentally picture yourself busy at the task and feel the pride and joy in your accomplishment making your blood course through your veins. Before you know it your house will be spic and span and you will be a famous author(or actress or singer or diplomat).
The morning holds open the door for your exercise program to begin. Especially if it is a sunny day. You can easily take your walk(after your 300 calorie breakfast or before if you prefer) or your jog or go to the gym and start the day off right. Think of the energy you will have for the rest of the day so you can get started on that famous thing!
Some people love the morning because they finally get that first cup of coffee. Not me. I've never been much of a coffee drinker. Love the aroma, hate the taste. Unless of course it is one of those coffees that you get at the specialty stores with flavors and whipped cream--you know, the 3,000 calorie breakfast!
I used to love breakfast too. Especially when it came with doughnuts. Now that it is eggs or a high fiber cereal, I don't really care for it much. I sure don't feel hungry in the morning.
Anyway, chalk me up as being a morning person. Just don't expect me to have the same goals or ambition after 11:59 a.m.!

I WANT THAT!

Yesterday we were watching the SciFi channel. They have some really clever promotional ads that they run between programming. The one I really like is a young woman who arrives in a truck and as she gets ready to exit the vehicle it transforms down to the size of a quarter and she tosses it in her purse. I want that! How cool would that be. You would never have to worry about a parking place and you could drive right up to the door of anywhere! And she chucked it into a clutch bag so you don't even need a really big purse. That is right up my alley.
Another vehicle I want really exists. It is called a segue. It is a scooter that you propel with your body . Just lean forward and off you go Lean to the left or right and that is the way you go. I love that thing! The employees at Epcot use them and I just go green with envy.
Speaking of going green, it would be a great way to do that. I think they should be standard issue when you turn 50 anyway. You stay more in the neighborhood as you get older and it would be an easy way to go from the house to the grocery or over to a neighbor's.
Some gated communities only let you use a golf cart. I'd love one of those too. I don't play golf but who cares about that? I like the idea of tooling around in a little vehicle that is open like a golf cart. You could feel the wind in your hair.
Bikes are good too. It took me until the fourth grade to learn to ride a two wheeler without training wheels(oh, I know) so it is a skill I would want to keep for the rest of my life. It is also a healthy activity.
The only trouble with a bike is that if you are going to ride for any length of time, you really need a helmet. Talk about the funniest looking accessory, the helmet is it. Every time I see one of those bike helmets, even on Lance Armstrong, they make me laugh. They make everyone look like a mushroom head! I am still a little vain so I don't think I would like that. Maybe, if it was pink........

A Sad Day

I just heard that an old friend and colleague passed away last night. Pat was a fellow teacher and she even spent a year or two teaching kindergarten with me. She was fun and funny and kind and an advocate for kids.
We shared a student named R. He was always in trouble and came to me in first grade with a reputation of misbehavior and uncooperativeness. His mom left him that year with his blind father. R was a handful but there was something about him that I just loved. In second grade, he had Pat. She loved him too. We were probably the only two who ever cut him a break and enjoyed him, warts and all. She told me a couple of years ago that she had seen him and he was doing well. He even hugged her.
Our school building was old and every spring we would get a mouse infestation. For some reason, they always turned up in Pat's classroom. They were so bold that they just came out and ran over the kids' feet. She taught across the hall from me and I could hear her kids screaming. It was pretty funny so we made an old box into a "Mouse Hotel" and presented it to her.
She was always positive and looked at the good side of life. Her house had a terrible fire a few years ago and she and her husband had to live in an apartment for a while. Awful, right? Not for Pat. She told me that she was enjoying apartment living. It was different and she was having some new experiences.
Her house was beautiful. After they moved in(the first time) I went over and did some decorative painting. I was glad to be able to do something for her and I loved her for appreciating my creative side. I think the painting got wrecked in the fire and the insurance guy said that must have been expensive and she told him IT WAS!!! I laughed right out loud when she told me that.
I can see her laughing face in my mind's eye. I can hear her voice. My heart breaks for her family but I am glad her suffering is at an end. God bless you, Pat. You will be missed.

Mammogram Day

Yesterday was my mammogram day. I also had a sonogram of my kidneys done. No worries. Just scheduled for the same day so I didn't have to go twice. Smart move. I had to go into radiology and change my clothes. Standard operating procedure. They gave me a gown and a robe. That is unusual and it is really nice. Very private, if you know what I mean.
I wore jeans and red socks and camel loafers. I wore a sweater in case it was cold in the hospital.
I looked nice because I had other things to do later in the day.
Then I made a fatal mistake. I looked in the full length mirror. Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was now wearing a hospital gown and robe and red short socks and loafers(with kitten heels no less).
How could I possibly leave the dressing room looking like that? I thought of taking off the socks but then my feet would stick inside the shoes. I hate that. I couldn't go barefoot because the nurse said to wear my socks and shoes. Oh, well. Things could be worse.
THEY WERE!! I made the mistake of checking out my legs. Is there a color that is whiter than white? That is the color of my legs. And skinny!!!!!! Little chicken legs sticking out of that huge gown and robe(one size fits all)! Now I really didn't want to go out to the waiting room.
Nobody else had on a robe and gown. Just me. But I had to go.
In the waiting room, I thought I saw a few smirks but I ignored them. The other women just sat quietly watching TV. I decided that was a good idea as I would have an hour between my two tests. I put my attention on the show and it was ESPN.
Now I don't mind sports. I love football and sometimes I even love baseball. I can watch any sport for a while and enjoy it. But watching scores and recaps for an hour is not my idea of fun. This day was already going to be not much fun so I decided to change the channel.
I asked the other women if they minded and one looked so relieved and said Please. So my white legs and I crossed the room and changed to the Today Show. All the others smiled and I felt better about my appearance because I was still me. I had the guts to change the channel. If someone had said no I think I would have picked up a magazine but nobody did. Those women were going to sit there and watch ESPN even though they didn't want to!
SO my point is I guess I don't really care that I have skinny,white chicken legs as long as I have the courage to change the channel!

Bowling for Dollars

I always was a lousy bowler. I just can't get the hang of how you coordinate those steps and swinging your arm straight. Bowling in public was, for me, embarrassing at least, mortifying at best. One time I threw the ball and it went over into the lane next to where I was bowling. Now that is terrible. My all time high was 96 and I was so happy to get that much, I can't tell you. I bowled one strike in my life.
Actually, I was on a bowling team once a long time ago. I'm sure they wished I would quit. They got their wish soon enough. My favorite part of bowling was going to the bar for a drink afterward.
Apparently, I would meet Barack Obama in there. He is another hapless bowler. He bowled a 37 for goodness sakes! Did you see him with the bowling shoes? He looked like he wished he had surgical gloves on! I admire the guy for even putting them on his feet. He also got a gutter ball. With that score he probably got more than one but I only saw the one. On TV. Is this guy brave or what? Not able to be commander in chief....come on.
I also saw him drinking a beer and eating a hot dog. Brave and brave again. Do you know what is in a hot dog? Me, either.
Anyway I am thinking of inviting Mr. Obama to join a bowling league. We can call ourselves The Under One Hundreds. We can all put our dollars into a treasury and at the end of the season, we can give prizes. I want to win the prize for the lowest scoring team. I am going to ask Barack to be on my team!

Sisters, sisters

I am listening to Angela Landsbury talk about her sister's battle with ALS, Lou Gehrig disease. She is using her fame and the accolades coming her way to do good. She wants her sister to be remembered and she wants her life to effect others in a positive way. It got me thinking about sisters.
A friend of mine and I were discussing our sisters recently. We both agreed we would never want to be very far away from them. The connection is so important to us we couldn't live in a world without it. We were talking about moving to another state and she said she could never do it because she wants to stay close to her sister. I will move wherever my sister wants to live.
I guess sisters can be annoying. Ours aren't. Maybe that's because there are just two of us. My friend only has one sister too. I guess when we were kids we had spats and problems but I don't remember any of them. I guess we've had our differences as adults too but I don't remember any of them very well.
A sister is more than a friend. Nobody else shares my experiences from childhood til now like she does. She knows all the dirt about me and chooses not to tell anyone else my shortcomings. She and I can laugh like nobody's business. We get each other's humor and usually the same things strike us funny. She can get me laughing so hard that I can hardly breathe and I love it!
A sister knows how much you weigh. Not even my husband knows that. If I lose I would tell him how much but the actual number I only share with my sister. I know I can tell her because she will never tell. We can talk about how it is so unfair that we can't have a piece of candy without feeling guilty or gaining a pound. We can tell each other what strategy works for us and not expect the other one to do the same thing.
A sister encourages you to use your talents. She's willing to tell you if you are doing a good job or if you aren't working up to your potential. She knows what you are capable of. She knows what makes you happy. She will tell you when you are making yourself miserable.
I guess that is what Angela Landsbury felt for her sister and how much she must miss her. Nobody wants to lose their sister. I guess you always hope you will go first.
Now I know not all sisters have this relationship. How sad for the women who can't appreciate this special bond. I don't know what could possibly get in the way because fortunately for me, my sister and I are forever friends.