You Can Read This One

Ha!  I am really getting driven crazy by the television ads lately...or should I say again.  I have one that I love to hate more than any other.  It is for the Ohio Lottery and there is this OBNOXIOUS woman who says that the Ohio Lottery Show is Aaawesoomme(awesome).  I wish I could record that voice and play it here for you.  If you wanted to drive someone mad, it would be a cinch with that one sentence.  Plus she is all smiles like she's really cool and all proud of herself.
If I met that woman on the street I would have to slap the crap out of her....only in my imagination of course.  If I really met her I would probably be a big suck up because she was on TV and is a "celebrity."  I'd probably tell her she did a great job or I love her commercial or wouldn't be able to speak.  I get really nervous around celebrities. 
My daughter used to work as an actress in a Medieval Faire when she was in college and I could barely speak to the other actors--especially the king or the queen or someone who put on a show by themselves. It must be some kind of self esteem issue.  I'm just glad she never ended up in Hollywood-I would have been struck dumb!
On the other hand, I would love to meet the guy who is in the insurance ads who wreaks havoc wherever he goes.  I love that guy!  Did you see him as the Christmas tree?   He always has on a suit and all those bandages on his head.  It cracks me up.  I loved him from the first--when he was the teenage girl who hit a car in the parking lot.  What a riot.  I'd hope I wouldn't be tongue tied with him.  I feel like I already know him.
I've never done well with strangers.  When my kids were little and we had to enter a room of people we kinda knew or didn't know at all, they always went first and then I only had to say I was their mother.  It worked well for someone who is shy in new situations.
Most people who know me would think I am the opposite of shy.  The key word here is "know".  I am outgoing and friendly for the most part--unless I am unsure of my status and then I become shy.
I'm betting the Ohio Lottery babe is anything but shy.  Maybe I should look her up...as long as I could suppress that slap instinct!

Don't Read This

I am in a mood.  I am feeling incredibly sorry for myself so I thought if I vent here I might feel a little better.
I recently lost a lot of money....and I don't know how.  It was my grocery money too.  When I couldn't find it I made myself physically sick and I think I have money loss hangover now.  Add to that, it happened not once but twice.
Am I losing my mind?  Is this early onset Alzheimer's?  I can't even imagine what happened to it.  I wish I could say I mindlessly spent it on something else but that's not the case.  Nobody could pickpocket my purse and even if they had, wouldn't they take all the money in an envelope, not leave me some?   Nobody broke into our house and again why would they take some and not all of my money?
Then that damn Mary Worth had to have her purse robbed and she had all the contents written down at home and called all the credit card companies within an hour.  Even a stupid comic strip character had more sense than me.   She's not even a real person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have  racked my brain and I come up with....well, nothing.  I remember where I had the money.  I remember counting it out to put in my grocery purse and then nothing.  I'm blank.
Now you might say oh you have a lot on your mind but truly I don't.
And I can't seem to lose weight.  I am getting fatter and fatter around the middle and I'm not pregnant.  Yes, I'm positive.  Too old and no uterus.  I don't think I eat that much.  I think I eat moderate portions. What the heck?  I work out five days a week and I faithfully get weight at Weight Watchers and watch the scale go up every week.  My pants are tight and I look utterly stupid.  I want to look nice.  I just saw the makeovers on Biggest Loser and I know they work like dogs but I try and I don't have masses of pounds to lose--just 20...or even 15.  Why? Why? Why?
And my eyes are going to pot.  I used to be able to work at the computer and do my crossword puzzle with no glasses but not now.  It seemed to happen over night.
My mother in law always said that growing old is not for sissies.  Well, I am...a big sissy I mean.  I don't feel like I mind getting old just I hate getting stupid.  I guess that's the whole thing that bothers me--I'M STUPID!
Now if you didn't follow my advice and you did read this don't make any comments or try and make me feel better.  I guess I need to wallow in my misery a little longer but I'll get over it.  Maybe Santa can bring me some brains.

Happy Birthday to Me

OMG  I am 62 years old.  I could take early retirement....wait, I am retired.  I can get an extra 15% off at Kohl's on Wednesdays.  Which is weird because you have to be 60 and they just told me recently that I am qualified.  Maybe I'm not 62 after all.
Sometimes I think I am a waste of space but I look back on 62 years and think I'm not so bad after all.  I had a teaching career where I actually helped some kids...and they've told me so.
I raised two great kids who have good jobs and nice homes and best of all they like us!  They want to hang out with us....well, not all the time but you know.
I have a good husband to whom I've been kind and mean and loving and snotty and provocative and  standoffish and he still loves me and wants to hang out with me...all the time.
I can remember some horrible things I've done and some wonderful things I've done.  I know I have really good friends and a couple of really good enemies.
I can remember being a child and a gawky adolescent and the memories don't make me shudder...well, maybe a little.
I have a few regrets but not anything I'd hang my head about.  The bad choices I made were usually fixable.
I've had great highs and deep lows...and I hope most people don't know about them.  The ones that do are my cherished friends and family who still want to hang out with me.
People tell me I'm funny.  Well, I guess I am sometimes...but everybody is sometimes.  I like to make people laugh.  I think most of us do.
This blog has been ridiculed for not being deep enough but I don't write it to be profound.  Some think I am lazy and ungrateful since I have no job and don't do some kind of volunteer work.  I tried to be a volunteer.  It just didn't work out.  I have opinions and I share them.  If I see something is wrong and I think I know how it could work out better, I say so.  I found out that is not a trait appreciated in a volunteer.
I have my routine and my own little way of doing things and it is a happy life.
I guess I don
t mind being 62 so much after all.

One Thing Leads to Another

I've always said that once you do one thing to fix up your house it leads to another.  You know, a fresh coat of paint makes the doorknobs look crummy or once you've put up wallpaper it is screaming for a border.  Well, I never will hang wallpaper again as long as I live but you get the idea.
I discovered recently that house fixing is not the only thing that leads from one thing to another.  Did you ever go on iTunes?  Well, it happens there too.  First you see a song you like or remember then that leads to another one and another one and another one.  Those $1.29s add up!  Fast!  I am learning to be very discerning but it is hard, my friends.  Actually I got one song for only 69 cents!  It was Gerry and the Pacemakers.  Some of you don't even know who that is and apparently not many people do as that is the cheapest song I have!
I remember going to see their movie, Ferry Cross the Mercy, and the movie theater actually stopped the movie until the girls stopped screaming.  It was a really dumb movie as far as I can remember.  They were just copying the Beatles...or the Monkees.
Anyway, see how one thing leads to another?  I always liked the Monkees but when I think of them it brings up memories of my kids when they were little.  They love the Monkees on Nickelodeon and they used to play the music and pretend they were the guys and it was really really cute and funny.
My kids were always creative players.  It might have been them and it might have been some of their playmates.  One of our neighbors used to show up at my door in the summer wearing a little wool hat and mittens and meowing like a kitty.  Pretty creative, no?
Trying to create a creative costume for Halloween is...well, trying.  My DH is going as a lumber jack.  I had the great idea of doing a couples costume and going as a tree.  Well, I racked my brain to think of some way to look like a tree and it was sounding more and more complicated and aren't couples costumes a little trite?  So, I am going as nothing.  I have a Happy Halloween tee shirt and one of those crazy looking little headbands.  Done and done!
So, as I said one thing does lead to another and we have finally led to the end. 
Happy Halloween!!!

Oh, John, We Hardly Knew Ye

John Kasich is really making me angry with all his talk of how public employees are ripping off their fellow Ohioans.  As far as I am concerned, the only public employee who is ripping off the Ohioans is John Kasich.
I am a retired teacher.  I paid toward my retirement and my employer matched it.  A lot of workers have that.  I paid for my health insurance the entire time also.  So do all my fellow teachers, retired and working.  We are not the enemy.
Kasich is able to skew things so that public employees seem to be better off than the middle class.  John boy, we ARE the middle class.
 Without us, you wouldn't have public services to offer.  You would have to educate your children, fight your own fires and protect your family yourself.  Let's just take educating your kids.  First, you have to stay home so you can't have a job unless it is at night when the kids are sleeping and who will protect them then?
You have to be able to think on your feet and develop a curriculum for your kids and choose the books they read.  You also have to teach them social skills so you would have to get together with some other kids at some point or another.  If your kid gets sick during lesson time, you have to stop and care for him or her while the other kids just wait.
Now, there are people out there that home school their children but they are supported by the Dept. of Education in Ohio so that they don't have to develop lesson plans or curriculum.  I admire those people and hope the best for their kids but to me there is nothing like an education with a diverse group of children your own age.
Teachers work hard.  Are there some who work the system? Probably, but I don't know any of them. When I worked, I worked hard and dedicated most of my time and a lot of my  own money educating kids.  So did my colleagues.  We kept studying ways to help kids learn better.  We tried adventurous ideas to help kids get along and learn to work in a group.  We taught kids to respect others and recognize their strengths and the strengths of others.
And now our Governor says I am a cheater and so are my colleagues.  How dare you sit in Columbus and judge what we do?  Come to Cleveland and teach--you wouldn't last an hour.  Try fighting a fire or arresting someone or nursing someone back to health...you would fail miserably.
It seems the governor skews the rhetoric in this direction so you all won't notice that he is taking away our legal right to collective bargaining.  No more give and take about class size or how many ambulances for EMTs or how many patients a nurse should serve. 
If we lose that right, then you are next...that's right Ohio, you are next.
If people had known that Kasich was going to go this route before the election, I wonder if he would have won?   I know my vote didn't put him there.  I hope yours didn't either.

This is For the Birds

Did you know that crows are as smart as a young child? Well, they are.  I learned that on some science channel yesterday.  Pretty interesting but also a little creepy.
Years ago, when we were in Disney World, there was a sign at a restaurant we were in that said not to feed the birds.  I joked that there were so many of them, that one day we'd come here and the crows would be in the chairs and we would be begging from them.   Eerily correct now that I know how smart they are.
And they learn...fast.  So what's to stop them from taking over?  That movie, The Birds, always creeped me out but now it is a real horror story. 
Crows' major concern right now is the acquisition of food but they learn to respect the feelings of other crows and notice how other crows interact with their peers.  Geez, some people don't even do that.
So I don't know about you but I'm practicing my crowing! Better to be safe than sorry.

Sorry, Charlie

There's a man who stands at the corner of 306 and Mentor Ave. who holds a tiny Ron Paul 2012 sign.
Sorry, buddy.  Ron Paul is not going to be the President.  I know you think he will change everything that is wrong, but he won't.  Neither will President Obama.  No one man can fix what ails us and we have to wake up and realize that.
The entire Congress of the United States needs to step up.  They need to get off their overpaid butts and get something done.  What ever happened to compromise?  Like I say I want 20 million and you say no, two million and we haggle and discuss and end up somewhere in the middle?
Now it's so bad that the young people of this country who need jobs are revolting against the establishment.  They have every right to protest and if they can facilitate change, more power to them. However they seem to have no leaders.  They need their own George Washington and Thomas Jefferson and John Adams and their comrades to lead the fight.
You can't have a successful revolution without charismatic leaders.  Personally, I thought Obama was it. I was wrong.  Does that mean I'm going to vote for Ron Paul or Mitt Romney?  Not on your life. If Mr. Obama is smart (and I'm sure he is) he will step up and be the leader and invite other strong advocates of  "Main Street" rights to join him.  Wouldn't that be thrilling?  If a President could really make some changes without the interference and the lassitude of his fellow leaders?
Too bad we can't recall all the Senators and Congressmen.  They could come home and teach school or be a firefighter and try to make ends meet and fight for their right to negotiate their contracts.  They wouldn't last a day!