On the Down Low in Vegas

Well, I'm back from my vacation and I spent it in a wheelchair due to Arnold's size and my foot injury. Let me tell you it is not all it is cracked up to be--being in a wheelchair I mean.
First, I had a bird's eye view of every fanny in Vegas. Not a very pretty sight for the most part. And there were tons of them--it was really crowded!
I also have an intimate knowledge of every wastebasket/trashcan/ashtray in Harrah's. I tried to stay out of the way when I stopped and every out of the way corner had one of them. You can only look at so many ashes and cigarette butts on one vacation!
Did you know that most of the people who visit Las Vegas are blind?? What? Well, no one seemed to notice me. People walked in front of me, stopped dead in front of me, pushed in front of me, looked at me and then walked in front of me, walked straight at me....well, you probably have the picture.
In Vegas, you can rent a wheelchair. I was expecting a pretty nice one. Silly me! It was a standard wheelchair like the ones they push you in at the hospital. Note to Vegas: could you at least make them gold lame or something?? And how about a seat cushion with some padding? Let me tell you the bum is the first thing to go. I finally had to put a bed pillow on the seat so I could stand it. How about putting on some of those flashing lights for at night? And how about a horn? You know, for all those blind people who can't see you(that would be everyone).
I finally got the hang of pushing myself around to so I didn't have to rely on someone else to push me all the time. I got pretty good at it but the inclines up and down were a challenge that I needed my trusty drivers for. My nephew and my daughter turned out to be the best drivers for me and they got me around real well. My husband was a willing driver but he was a little too fast and close to those blind people for me.
There were some people who weren't blind. The kids. Yes, people actually bring their kids to Vegas. Kids in strollers were my comrades. They all looked at me and smiled and sometimes talked or waved. My favorite was at Circus, Circus where a little boy about 4 years old saw me out of the corner of his eye as his family was about to turn a corner. He took a giant step back and waved to me like we were old buddies or I was one of his favorite cartoon characters. It was real cute.
Anyway, no more vacations in wheelchairs for me if I can help it. I am either too stubborn or weakwilled to handle it--I'm not sure which!

You Should Be Dancin'

I just watched two of the best little dancers I have ever seen. The first one was Billy Elliot in the movie of the same name. This kid was a tough Irish(I think) who was from a mining town and his dearest wish was to dance "the ballet." He danced all the time! Walking down the street, in his bedroom, at his friend's, in the studio(which also held a boxing ring). He was a sight to behold. He could throw the emotion into it too. His father was dead set against it being all macho and stuff but in the end he saw his son had talent and sent him off to The Royal Ballet School. At the end, we see Billy as a grown man doing what he was born to do. I don't know the little boy's real name as I didn't see the credits as I was in the bathroom weeping. It was a really really good movie.
Then I saw Tracy Turnblatt in Hairspray. That little chubby-ubby can dance up a storm. She faced a different kind of challenge than Billy. She was fighting against racism and weightism. She was always smiling though and always positive. She had a more creepy mother--John Travolta and as my brother in law said it was a little disconcerting to see him. Her father was played by the always creepy(to me) Christopher Walken. They were much more supportive of their daughter and in spite of the drag and the fat costume, John T. still has all the right moves.
Personally, I am not much of a dancer. Years ago, when I danced with my dad at a wedding, "Susan," he said, "A ballerina you ain't!" and he was right on!! I still love to dance and nothing, not even, my cast, stops me. I may not be Billy or Tracy but I'm no Seinfeld's Elaine either.

Running on Empty

Well, today should be disaster free. I only have to buy hamburger patties at the store later and that is my only assignment for today. We are taking our aunt and cousin( love them even more today) to the tea room for a ladies' lunch.
Good thing too. I am suddenly exhausted. I am not exactly sure why...my sister has done the lion's share of the preparation and work but yesterday's mess wore me out. The kitchen is all cleaned up and my husband got rid of the broken glass pan so I can put that behind me.
I have to turn my mind to our next trip--Vegas on Sunday. We are going to celebrate my nephew's 21st there and it will be fun but I do have to get ready.
I am doing laundry right now and am preparing to go to the foot doctor for some good news(I hope I hope) about my foot. I really don't want to wear this sucker to Vegas. Sorry, Arnold, but you are a pain in the a**.
Vegas is always a fun trip and we are staying at Harrah's for the first time so that will be fun too. I heard Whoopi is entertaining there on Sunday night so you never know we may see her. I don't know if my nephew is a fan or not but maybe we will just bump into her(oh, sure).
I hope our flight goes better than the last time. We were delayed for a couple of hours and that is never fun. Plus it would be kind of a bummy way to start one's birthday celebration, wouldn't it??
Anyway, we will try to find the loosest slots and maybe some electronic black jack or maybe even get brave and sit at a table. If I get rich I will report it here first...but don't hold your breath. I may have used up all my luck on our last trip when I played one hand of Black Jack and won!!!!!! I used my last chip and went home with around 90 bucks. I know, but I felt rich and LUCKY!!!!! So cross your fingers for us, I'll be thinking of you in Vegas. Might even report back if I get a chance!

The Silver Menace

Some days I should just stay in bed! Today was one of those days. My aunt and cousin are coming for a visit(I am so happy to get to spend time with them as I love them both dearly) and in an effort to help my sister out as they are staying at her home, I offered to make some breakfast goodies and some desserts for the three days.
Yesterday after we got home from Pittsburgh, my husband and I went to the grocery and I even had made a list of what I needed before I left town. We got everything(still in that wheelchair) and I was ready to start my baking marathon in the morning.
Yes, this morning..the one I should have stayed in bed on.
Anyway, first I made brownies and in cleaning up I got brownie goo all over my new kitchen towel(white as the driven snow of course) and had to put it in the wash but no big deal, right?
Sure.... Then I made lemon cookies and splashed the egg and yogurt mixture all over my pajamas and the counter(yes, I do cook in my pajamas) so I had to clean up that mess before I could continue and now I am cooking in my very wet pajamas! But I carried on to the next task and I thought I was home free. Cheese danish--no problemo. Cupcakes(all right I didn't plan these I bought the wrong box but I am flexible) done in a flash.
Took a little break to ride the stationary bike at the Y and go buy the Confectionery sugar I forgot to put on my list.(No wheelchair this time)
Came home and made a lemon glaze for the cookies--made multiple small batches so I wouldn't have another mishap..See, I do catch on eventually..........
Then I made the frosting for the cupcakes. I got the electric mixer out and it won't work. Well, I am nothing if not smart so I figured I have to push that little red button on the other outlet so it will work and I WAS RIGHT...I also forgot to turn the mixer off and so butter and cream cheese went flying all around me. On the floor! On the counter! On my workout shirt(at least it was already dirty)! On my shoes! On my face! On my glasses! I think you probably get the picture. Luckily I had only 12 cupcakes to frost.
Anyway, I got the darn things frosted, cut the brownies and the danish and got them ready to transport and I was ready.
Oops, forgot the salad. No problem, I still had plenty of time. So I got the salad spinner and was getting ready when I realized I had to transfer some things (plastic bowl, utensils from the frosting debacle) to the other side of my double sink where the glass pans from the danish and the brownies were waiting for me. Carefully, I balanced the load and I started cleaning lettuce. Things were going swimmingly until some water sloshed over to the other side of the sink( I am kind of hazy here I might have hit it with my elbow or maybe it just came down on its own--we'll never know) and smash, down came my precarious work of art!!!!!
OHMYGOSH!! I thought I broke the sink. Nope, just the bottom glass pan...Oh, crap. I had to wash all the dishes on top of it first watching carefully for glass shards and I just finished and came here to vent.
See what I mean?? I'm a menace............sometimes!!

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Yesterday as I was driving home from my foot MRI I saw a chicken cross the road. At least , I think it was a chicken. It was little and reddish brown and had a little red comb on the top of its head. I must admit though that I didn't have my glasses on and so it may have been a little fuzzy. And I'm not totally sure you can trust my eyes as I once mistook dry leaves for a chipmunk. I even stopped so I wouldn't hit the poor thing! The wind was blowing so it was moving a little, ok??
Anyway, what would a chicken be doing on my street anyway?? I think it is against the law to keep a chicken as a pet. Maybe it escaped from somewhere....or maybe it was a cat.
I am sick of chicken. I eat so much of it that it never sounds good to me. I like the taste and all that but it never sounds good any more. Lemon chicken is my favorite. Especially if I don't have to make it. I do make a pretty mean lemon chicken myself but it always tastes better when you don't make it yourself, I think. We had chicken at the last wedding we went to and it was good. It had some kind of little sauce on it but I couldn't tell what it was.
I always loved that Foghorn Leghorn. I know he is a rooster but he fits in my theme a little. He was always so pompous and trying to help out that baby chicken hawk and he always called him Boy. It never failed to make me laugh. He was a one trick pony though, wasn't he? I don't remember him doing much of anything else.
I am pretty much a chicken myself. I don't like taking risks. I have never done any dare devil type things like parachuting or riding a motorcycle. Even when I was young I played it pretty close to the vest. The wild side never held much appeal for me because I was.......(you guessed it) TOO CHICKEN!!!!

Revelation

OHMYGOSH! I just watched an old Red Skelton movie and it was really corny, corny, corny. Not that that is any kind of surprise. Remember him on television?? He was always so goofy. I don't really like him but I am passing time as I get dressed for my MRI.
Anyway, the bad guy escaped from the jail and couldn't find the judge's house where all the action was taking place and he wakes up a little black boy and it's BUCKWHEAT!!!!!!!!!!! Well, I am laughing to myself ..he'll never find it now and he asks the kid. Buckwheat smiles his famous smile and tells him how to get there in PERFECT ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He didn't even have an accent of any kind. WHAA????????????????? I had to rerun the scene. Yup, it was really him.
SO that means either he outgrew his famous speech pattern or he was faking it all along. He was like 6 years old. He must be the world's greatest actor. He certainly has never gotten the respect or regard he deserves if he could fake that at such a young age. I'm guessing he was faking because it is really hard to outgrow a speech problem that is so pervasive and there was no speech therapy in the schools in those days that I know of. Unless the studio trained him which I guess is possible.
It just cracked me up that he was so glib so I thought I would share especially since so many of us remember Eddie Murphy's imitation of Buckwheat on SNL. Aren't you glad to know he wasn't still stuck in his childhood? I know I am. He will live on in my memory as a little rascal, but I'm glad to know that wasn't his only lot in life.
One of my husband's colleagues was telling him about a weird movie he saw in Canada called The Delicatessen. Remember the clown and the musical saw?? That's the one. Only he saw it with no subtitles--only in French. Poor man..I can't imagine what he must have thought was going on if he didn't understand any French at all. And to add salt to the wound, as he left the theater, a French journalist asked him what he thought of the movie and he had to admit he didn't even speak French. I wonder when she stopped laughing?? I bet she told her friends that story.
I sure am glad I watched it in the privacy of my own home. Whatever would I have said after seeing it?? Uh, I really liked the cannibalism....no... he was a funny clown.......no...I really liked when the old Gramma fell down the stairs.....no....Oh, I know..I loved the musical saw...Now, how do you say that in French???

On the Down Low

I've been spending a lot of time alone with Arnold and have had plenty of time to read and watch my soaps. I haven't been in touch with many people and I haven't been at the computer a lot so I haven't been sending emails etc and have as a result not gotten many either. Which is fine for a while.
I haven't been out in the yard much either and so have not seen much of my neighbors. I hear them out in their yards weeding and cutting the grass. I feel bad since I can't get out there and do what I usually do but such is life on the down low.
I wish I could tell you I've read an important novel but I have been reading chicklit and cookbooks. None of the food sounds like something I should make( a lot of cupcake and appetizer books) so I haven't been in the kitchen either.
My workouts had been going so well but this week I haven't gone so I will be in great shape(foot wise) for the wedding we are attending on Saturday. I can't really clean house very well and I just do the minimum of laundry.
I could be working on my novel but I have taken a vacation from it as I feel I need to look at it with a somewhat fresh eye. When I read some of these books from the library, I think mine is as good or better than some. I really have to do a final edit and add a few more pages(about 50) to make it a more viable length. After all, I am not Janet Evanovich who seems to crank out about 150 pages and calls it a book. I like her books but they are becoming pretty predictable.
I won't read mysteries or romance novels any more. I have read so many of them that I always know what is going to happen and it bores me. I like an easy read for the summer too.
I'd love to do my scrapbook work but that requires going upstairs--not a great idea at this point in time.
I'm also trying not to eat too much. It is hard when you are sitting near the kitchen all day. I usually try to avoid being near the food. Sometimes I hear it calling my name but it is just yogurt or an avocado so I can resist.
So being on the down low is not too much fun. When I was working, I thought it would be grand to be in this situation. In truth, it is just boring!