Monday, May 10, 2010

Some Motherly Advice

Since today is the day after Mother's Day I thought it would be a good chance to hand out some advice about things I learned this weekend. Ready?

1. If someone invites you to a baseball game and it is 50 degrees outside and the worst wind storm in your area in a looooong time, just say no thanks. Here's why. If it is 50 outside it is 40 in the stadium. If the wind is blowing a t 20mph then in the stadium it is 100 mph. If you are extremely unlucky the wind will blow a sandwich and it will hit you. If you wear gloves, you can't eat. If you wear no gloves, you will wish you had. If you wear a hat make sure it is snug--and I really mean tight and even then you might want to hold it down with a scarf or at least your hand.

If you wear a hood make sure you tie it so only your eyes and nose appear. You will look crazy but you will stay somewhat warm. If you do try to eat something--don't take off your gloves. Eat a hotdog with no mustard. Then at the beginning of the 4th inning, you should leave. Go to a nice warm bar and drink beer.

2. If your kids want to feed you, don't say no. It was a magical experience having two(yes, two) meals show up and I didn't lift a finger. It was like, well, magic! Brunch and dinner. How lucky can a mom be?? Your kids might be little and they might make something that is less than yummy but let them do it. When they are the age of my kids they will be experts! My daughter has turned into quite a cook and her brother was the sous-chef. They actually hollered at me if I tried to do a thing. From eggs and fruit salad with Michigan Mimosas to LOBSTER( oh, yes, they did) it was a wonderful day. So suffer through burnt toast and a bowl of Rice Krispies. It so pays off in the end!

3. Don't get your panties in a bunch. Relax and enjoy each and every day. Read a little, exercise a little, stimulate the brain a little, laugh and talk with your family a little and rest a little. It makes for a perfect day.

4. If you think you should go for a healthy outdoor walk through the neighborhood and it is 48 degrees outside, rethink that idea. It is really really cold and the wind goes right through you. If you must go because you missed your yoga session, change into warm pants. Even a bracing cup of coffee won't prepare you for how cold it is outside when the wind is blowing and the sun isn't shining very much.

If you trust me on these things you will lead at least a moderately happy life. Trust me!!

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