Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Over Before It Began

I read the other day that our love affair with President Obama is over. WHAT???????? I was having an affair and I didn't even know it?? Now that just isn't right. Did I miss something?
It's true that almost every day either Obama or one of his staff or (gulp) his wife send me emails but I erase those without reading them as I thought they were just reiterations of what had been announced on the news or what would be announced on the news shortly. I didn't want to get a slanted perspective so I just erased them.
Now, I realize they must have been about the affair! That I didn't even know I was having. OHMYGOSH! Wait until my husband finds out about this. I don't think he will like it very much.
Now, during the campaign I did write many blogs about supporting Obama's policies and I did write that I admired him but I didn't think he would take those blogs the wrong way! And Michelle!! I thought she was much more intelligent than that! She probably thought she was reading between the lines but there was nothing between the lines, I swear!
Recently, I wrote about how I thought the President was good at killing flies but that was strictly admiration too. Just because I copycatted him a few days later and killed some flies of my own.....that's not love.
The reporter who wrote that article and whoever slapped that headline on it need to look up love in a dictionary. Supporting and applauding your president is not love--it's admiration. Criticizing your president doesn't mean you have lost all respect for him and don't "love" him any more. It only means you are exercising your right to your own opinion. Which Americans love to do!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

RIP MJ

Once, a long time ago, my boss told me I looked like Michael Jackson. He meant my hairdo and it wasn't a compliment. I took it for what it was worth(nothing) and gave the boss a hard time although I don't remember the details.
Michael Jackson was the cutest little kid. I remember when he first came out while I was in college (so I guess he could have been 50 although it was hard to believe) and I had a Jackson Five album that I used to play for my first graders. They loved Rockin' Robin.
Many years later we showed the video of Free to Be You and Me, a Marlo Thomas production to our class and MJ was in that. When we told the kids it was him someone said that it couldn't be him because the kid in the video was black and MJ is white!!
That's the sad story of Michael Jackson to me....that in spite of his talent and good looks, he was never satisfied with himself. He kept changing his appearance until he was a shadow of his former self.
I don't know if he was a child molester or not but I think I know why he surrounded himself with kids. Kids accept you. Kids aren't all judgemental and mean. I'm pretty sure they embraced him(no, not like that) as one of their own and his fragile ego needed that kind of acceptance. I think that's why he said it was ok and sweet to share your bed with a child.
I don't defend his actions. I can just sort of understand what he was thinking.
What a dancer he was and the songs he wrote! I wonder why that isn't enough to make someone happy or satisfied at least??
All kind of ugly stuff is probably going to come out about Michael Jackson in the near future. I'm just glad he isn't here to hear it. I choose to remember him as that cute little boy in the purple hat singing his heart out with his brothers.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Trapped like a Rat

OHMYGOSH! There is major construction taking place on the freeway by my house. I am not talking orange barrels here, I'm talking closed entrance and exit ramps, huge machines, lots of workers, flaggers, closed lanes, flashing arrows, and dust all over the place.
Anywhere I want to go I have to deal with all this mess because we live very very close to the freeway. Not right on it although some of the people in our development are. They must be going nuts.
Two days ago it took me 25 minutes to drive about 3/4 of a mile. Not that I'm in a big hurry or anything. It was just unbelievable.
When I go to work I have to go on the freeway now instead of on the major streets between my house and there. The freeway entrance and exit going west are still open but there is a barrier in the middle and one of the lanes is closed and there are those signs with the wiggly arrows that mean you will end up driving on the makeshift lane that used to be the emergency pull over or the "berm." I never knew what that word meant "berm". I don't know if it is a local word or if everyone uses it.
If I want to go to the post office instead of jumping onto the freeway now I will have to go blocks out of my way and kinda round Robin Hood's barn. I know that is a more familiar phrase but who knew Robin Hood had a barn?? Didn't he live in the woods? Wasn't he like hiding out? Why would you build a barn in the forest if you were in hiding?
If I want to go to the mall, it will take twice as long because the traffic is a mess. Unless I go at 8 a.m. and just wait for the place to open at ten. But that seems a little like a waste.
Plus the dust!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just saying, it wouldn't surprise me if our whole little area turned brownish gray. Our cars will for sure.....maybe even our bodies. YUK!
I hate being trapped. I have major claustrophobia and this whole situation is making me a little frantic. What if we had to get out of here really fast for some reason? Isn't going to happen. Our little side street has ten times the traffic it had before this project is over and it will probably last all summer.
I will have to bite the bullet and suffer through though and pray for good weather so they finish on time and I can have my freedom back.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Come Fly with Me II

So, I never should have said a bad word about flies. They must have a superior communication system as one of them must have read my original blog and spread the word. No, really.
In the last couple of days between the two of us, we have killed 10 flies in the house.
We NEVER get flies in the house. Maybe a random one by the door once in a while but we get rid of those easily just by shooing them out the door and quickly closing it behind them.
No these were pesterers. They flew close to our faces, around our food and by our light sources. They buzzed around us and landed on the television screen where of course you can't hit them or you'd break the new television. They crawled on us too and I didn't want to suffer any pain just to kill a fly.
When one finally landed on the side table by the sofa where I was sitting, I finally got it with the bottom of a plastic glass that I put in the dishwasher post haste. The second one I got with a library book. (I wiped it off afterwards....really) The third one I got with my flipflop.( I really wiped that off!!)
Anyway, we've been up for about 45 minutes and there appears to be no more flies. Believe me, that is a relief. I couldn't stand all the buzzing and flying but I hate to just keep killing them. I don't want to get banned from the library or anything if they find a fly smoosh on one of the books I return. (just kidding--I really wiped it off)
Plus it was starting to feel really good--killing those flies. Like it got really easy to trick them too. It made me feel so good I got to thinking maybe I could be the President of the United States. Apparently, I have one of the necessary skills. On second thought, no can do. I am enjoying retirement far too much!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

BeepBeep

OHMYGOSH!!! I have to wear a blood pressure cuff for the next 24 hours. What's the big deal, you ask?? It is a giant pain in the rear! First off it has a tube thing that goes from the cuff under your shirt down your back and around to the gizmo that you wear on your belt or (like me) in your pocket. That tube thing is like having a snake riding on your back. Sometimes when I sit down it curls itself up around by my neck and shoulder like it's my pet or something. Other times it bumps up and down on my back like when I am walking around.
It goes off every thirty minutes and registers my blood pressure which I am sure is sky-high from the stress of wearing this thing. When it squeezes my arm it is like being killed by a boa constrictor. I never had such a tight blood pressure cuff in my entire life. It really really hurts. Plus as an added bonus it beeps before it takes the pressure so you can get yourself all worked up that the pain is about to begin and I'm sure that does wonders for the ole blood pressure too!
She said you should just go about your daily business. I went to the grocery store and a couple other places but I hurried home as I was getting a lot of stares and I think I grimaced when it took my pressure in one store and the clerk must have wondered what was up with me...unless she ever had to wear one, then she knows.
The best part is I get to wear it to bed tonight. I said to the woman at the Dr. office, "I have to wear this at night??" and she said I'll get used to it (!) just like when you go for one of those sleep tests(!) Well, I took one of those sleep tests and believe me, I didn't get used to it. I just fell asleep around 3 am out of sheer exhaustion.
So I guess tonight will be a great night's sleep( a little sarcasm there) and I will feel just great in the morning. One thing for sure, I will be praying for 9:30 AM to get here as fast as possible.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Strict on Strickland

I just read an article in the Plain Dealer on the Opinion page about the Governor changing his mind about slot machines. It said in the headline that he had lost his conviction or morals or something. I say, hey, at least he stuck around.
Did you hear about that governor of South Carolina who just went missing for a few days and didn't tell anyone where he was?? Now there was a plan. Supposedly not even his wife knew where he was and he missed Father's day with his kids but then the newscast said he is returning today "earlier than scheduled." HUH????? How can he be returning early if nobody knew where he was?? He claims to have been on the Appalachian trail so he sure didn't see it on TV unless he was really holed up in a Holiday Inn someplace. Come to think of it maybe that was his father's day gift!
Anyway Ted Strickland doesn't shirk his duty like that. As far as I know he's been there every day. So he changed his mind. Maybe he is just being practical. Ohio needs money. People like to use slot machines. Therefore, Ohio should have slot machines. Pretty simple logic really.
Personally, I never have had much luck at the slots but I still have fun using them. Once my daughter and I won around 125 dollars on a machine but we proceeded to blow that in a short time on that same machine and a few others in the same casino. So basically I guess we didn't really win anything but we had a blast.
Maybe Gov. Strickland finally tried out a slot machine and had a little fun doing it. Maybe he decided it wasn't so bad after all. Maybe he still has moral fiber and conviction. Maybe he
is just using his common sense. What a breath of fresh air that would be in a politician!


PS Just heard that the missing governor was in Argentina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Boy, he really got mixed up on the Appalachian trail if he ended up there!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Come Fly with Me

Is there anything more annoying then being pestered by a buzzing fly?
Flies are really annoying. They are so annoying that we didn't even bother to name them. We just call them what they can do--fly. It's like if we called a kangaroo a "hop"...or a dogs were "barks".
I always associate flies with garbage. I guess that's why you instantly want to shoo them away from your face or your food. Let's face it --flies are just gross. They start out as maggots for heaven's sake. Did you ever see one of those????? Not a pretty sight.
Nobody I know has any respect for flies which is why I was so baffled when there was an uproar over President Obama killing a fly on camera during an interview.
It was a great kill too. One handed and that thing was dead as a doornail. I wanted to applaud the finesse and even thought about sending him a little note(being the Ant Avenger and all) to congratulate him.
But PETA and other animal protective agencies were quite critical of Mr. President. You know what I say to them? If Obama could get rid of Kim Jong- Il, Osama BinLaden and Pres. Ahmadinejad with the same kind of finesse you'd be singing his praises!
So, you go, Mr. Obama! Keep killing flies and don't let things that pester you get in the way of your job!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Dad's Day

OHMYGOSH!!! My husband and our son are watching some Superman cartoon and they have it so loud I can hear it back here by the computer. They are such big babies--they make me laugh out loud.
Oh well, at least they have common interests. I suppose some sons don't have much to say to their dads. Some dads are just real quiet and don't talk much to their kids--even their sons. And some dads have to be an authority on everything so their sons don't bother to talk to them.
I would go back there too but I know at some point I would just start laughing and neither one of them would appreciate that! I will just get the novel I am reading and chill back here for awhile.
I don't resent that at all...I know I complain about all the scifi around here but mostly I do like it--even some of the cartoons but in small doses and not on stereo hifi surround sound so loud you can't hear yourself think.
I will join them when they are ready for drinks and dinner. That is something we all can enjoy!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Archie

Archie is getting married. No, really, it's true. Will he pick Betty? Will he choose Veronica? Will Reggie marry the loser? Will Jughead be the best man? All these questions will be answered in a special edition of the Archie comic book sometime this summer.
I hope he marries Betty. She is so wholesome and she really, really loves him. Maybe she loves him too much and this is unrequited love. Then he should marry Veronica. But every time she dumps him, she goes out with Reggie. Maybe she doesn't really love Archie. Maybe his love is unrequited. Then he should marry....oh, wait, that's both the girls. Uh-oh. Well, he could marry Reggie--now that would be a comic worth reading. I'm sure both Betty and Veronica would be crushed.
But back to the girls. Archie, I will give you a hand here. Betty is the girl next door. I bet she knows how to cook and would love to keep house for you. She might even get a job to supplement your income. You two would have a great life working hand in hand. Plus she is a natural blond!
Now if you choose Veronica you will lead a life of luxury. You wouldn't have to work unless you wanted to. You could get rides in the limo and laze about on the yacht while Veronica changes into the myriad of bikinis she owns. You two would have a great life sitting around getting old and fat. Well, not Veronica. She probably has a personal trainer. So just you would get fat and she would get sick of you and get a divorce and marry Reggie.
So now I can see your problem. There is no good choice here. You should just stay single...or marry Reggie.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Black Like Me

I just took a quiz on Facebook called "What Ethnicity Are You Really?" Turns out, I'm black. If you could see my whiter than white skin you would crack up as I am physically so not black. If you saw my teeny tiny booty you would know I'm really not black(no offense to my black sisters)!
I did mark on the quiz that I liked wings and not chicken tandoori(whatever that is) and that I was attracted to black men. I think I wrote about that before but it bears repeating. I have always had a black "boyfriend" on the silver or tv screen.
It all started with Dorian Harewood and continued on with Wesley Snipes, Will Smith, Tae Diggs and Tyrese. I am most true to Wesley in spite of his tax problems and any other rumors you may have heard. I mean did you see those muscles in Blade??????
I love Will for his sense of humor and Tae for that killer smile and Tyrese for his killer body...really, just look him up on Google and you'll see.
My husband(the very white man in my life) has no problems with these boyfriends of mine. He's used to it by now..he's been with me for 30 years. Now if Wesley ever knocked on our door....well, that might just be a different story!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Waiting Room

I spent some time waiting for a doctor appointment today and while I was waiting I dove into the nearest Newsweek. Well, that isn't true. The nearest Newsweek had a pig snout sticking out from between rusty bars and I had to cover that one up with another magazine. The one I chose had an unflattering picture of Oprah on the front.
The article inside talked about how Oprah presents some unusual medical practices as the choice that is the best. She seems to present the medical world as a big giant conspiracy to keep us unhealthy. The article talked about Suzanne Sommers who takes about 60 supplements a day and injects herself with synthetic(plant-based) hormones even in the(pardon the Oprah expression) VaJJ.
There were doctors in the audience but they had to wait their turns to talk and Oprah defended Suzanne. She also embraced some of her routine( I hope not the VaJJ part).
The article went on to say that Dr. Oz gives sound medical advice,
It mentioned the OBGYN she has on frequently and Jenny McCarthy who is an advocate for her Autistic child. The OBGYN said that the injection for HPV could kill you and Jenny is against the MMR immunization because it caused her son's autism. The medical community says there is no medical evidence to support either of these two thoughts.
Although some women who have received the injection have died there were other factors involved. The jury is still out on the MMR shot but so far no scientific evidence supports it.
I didn't get to finish the article but the article went on to talk about women with thyroid problems which Oprah has "cured" without her prescribed meds but I don't know how.
Millions of people watch Oprah and take her advice as it stands. Has her ego grown so much that she thinks she is always right under every circumstance?? Could be.
I've seen enough of Oprah to know that her ego is as big as all outdoors and she is pretty full of herself. She used to be a giving, understanding woman but now seems to have become a semi-deity in her own mind. I know she thinks she is doing good but maybe more research is necessary and maybe we shouldn't take medical advice from actresses like Sommers and McCarthy. I'm just sayin'.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Stuffed Up

I have a summer cold. At least I think it is a cold. I suppose it could be the flu--even the dread Swine Flu--but I haven't been around any pigs lately so I kinda doubt it. Anyway, my head feels like it is stuffed with cotton and I have a temperature and cough and sneeze intermittently. I had a sore throat too but that's gone.I've been imagining that little germ zipping around in my throat and my head and my nose. It is a quick little monster and it has a game plan to boot. It is having a ball! First it attacked my throat but not enough for me to pay any attention to it until Friday night when I had my husband bring home Hall's.Saturday morning brought the coughing and runny nose and that little monster wasn't done yet. By that night my headache started and I knew that on Monday I'd have to see the doctor.I didn't want to be sick in the summer. Why couldn't this have happened in February when you don't want to go outside and have nothing much to do but read and watch soaps? The little germ just had a good laugh and kept running rampant. I was supposed to start a new job today but that went down the tubes.So here I sit and look outside with a sad face and a 2:40 Doctor appointment. I hope she has a miracle cure so I can get outside soon!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Open Air Market

Our local farmer's market is open now and it is so good to have it back!
Mmmm...fresh scallops
Mmmm.....fresh strawberries grown here!
Mmmm...fresh corn
Mmmm...Amish cinnamon rolls
Mmmm...homemade pasta
Mmmm....sunshine

Friday, June 12, 2009

Breakdown

Well, yesterday my car overheated and had to be towed to the garage. In my whole life, this has never happened to me. I never called AAA except from home. At least I didn't tie up traffic as I was able to pull into a parking lot. When a red light is flashing on the dash even I know you have to pull over and stop driving.
The first thing I did was panic. Then I called my husband...like he could do anything for me. At least he listened and I was able to calm myself. He told me to sit there for 20 minutes and let the car cool off but once I really thought about that I decided that was just dumb and I made the call.
The woman said the tow truck would be there within the hour but it was only 5 minutes and then it turned out that the driver went to the same elementary school as my kids so that was fun to talk about. He told me the teachers he remembered and his favorite one was a gal I was friends with when we taught together.
I got to the garage and of course, it is a major fix and won't be done until tonight or tomorrow sometime and it will probably cost a fortune. What is it with the repairs anyway? Even the smallest repair seems to cost hundreds.
I spent a little time in the waiting room, hoping it would be an easy fix but my hopes were dashed. What is it with those garage waiting rooms anyway? They all seem to be the anti-sanitary room. It was kinda stinky and everything was a little sticky. It made me want to go home and jump in the shower.
Anyway, I thank God that I was so close to home and that the tow truck came so quickly and the guys at the garage know me and give me a ride home. If you have to have a car emergency, all those things make it a lot easier.
My car is ten years old so I guess you have to expect a problem now and then. It only has 80,000 miles on it and it will last a lot longer or so they tell me at the garage. I hope they're right and I bet they do too!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Easy

I have a new "admirer" named Anonymous. Boy or girl, man or woman, friend or stranger...I have no idea. Anonymous keeps me grounded. Anonymous always has a minute to criticize me. I have pretty much ignored Anonymous but my kids haven't.
Well, Anonymous... my private life is none of your business. I am sure you are busy with your many friends, your good works and activities but I don't write about those things because they are nobody's business.
Some people on line make a living writing about Soap Operas. Some people do only have their immediate families whether they want that situation or not. Some people watch a lot of television because they are lonely or they just enjoy the entertainment. Some people write a blog just to vent. Some people write a blog because they like to write. Some people do things for others and don't toot their own horn about it.
So, dear Anonymous, you don't have to read my blog. It is easy for you to be my critic when I have no idea who you are. I'm not so easy to figure out as you may think.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Blogaversary

OK. I didn't even know there was such a thing as a blogaversary. So I missed my first one. Darn! I coulda had cake.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

OH MY!

An ant bit me on the ass. No, really. Every spring we have to battle the ants until they get the hint and stop entering our home. This usually involves the use of ant spray several times and me squashing all the ones who get in here who I refer to as the scouts.
They aren't those teeny weeny little ones either. They are big suckers about the size of the fingernail on your little finger...unless you are a really big guy then about half.
I hate those things. You should see me squish them. I am merciless. I whack them with my flip flop. I beat them with newspapers. I stomp them until they no longer move. Sometimes I think they get ground into my carpet... but just a little bit. I have even been known to squash them with my bare fingers. When that happens I know I am at the end of my patience.
Well, one of the scouts was on my couch and started walking on me. EEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I jumped off and brushed it off and it went under my bum and it got its revenge for all its fallen brethren.
It hurt too. The little blankity-blank. It better not think that's going to stop me. I don't think so! I am the Ant Avenger and I will pervail!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

I'm Cryin'

I've been crying my eyes out over my soap for the last three days. Powerful performances and powerful story line have come together to make One Life to Live the soap to watch. I have spoken of the story a couple of times but I will bring you up to date as fast as I can.
Remember Starr? She is the 16 year old who had a baby after her first sexual encounter with her serious boyfriend, Cole, and who thought that her baby died at birth when really she was switched by Starr's DID(multiple personalities) cousin, Jess-Tess-Bess.
Well, Jess has finally come back into her own after a complicated Bess mess and has realized that her baby actually died and she had stolen Starr's baby. Needless to say, she is devastated and can hardly stop crying. She not only has to say goodbye to the baby she's been raising but she also has to break the news to her older daughter who is about 3 or 4.
When she realized the events of the past, she was held in the arms of her mother, Vicki-Nicki-Jean-Tommy(she has DID too as you probably guessed from her name) and the two of them gave the performances of their lives. It was so realistic I couldn't stop crying either. The mom looked so wounded. The sympathy and sadness was radiating out of her eyes while her daughter sobbed and recalled the dastardly events.
In the meantime, over at Starr's house, all is joyful except for poor Cole who really really wants to keep the baby and Starr who is having second thoughts about letting the McBain's(John McBain's brother and wife) adopt the baby which was the original plan.
Starr is her usual mature self and feels she can't break the promise she made to Marcie McBain but she is definitely conflicted. Marcie and her husband(the actors) are both leaving the show soon so maybe she'll keep Hope after all. I can't wait to find out.
Even Starr's crazy father(the one who held Cole's mom hostage after she lost her memory in a car crash but he loves her so he thinks it was ok) has been subdued and hasn't done anything stupid so far.
Starr's mother, Blair(who is now in a marriage of convenience with John McBain) has been completely supportive of her daughter from the get-go. She told Starr that she is the one who has to decide her daughter's fate. She should do what her heart tells her and not what others expect her to do. This is excellent advice from a woman who has married the same man(Todd) three or four times in spite of everyone telling her he's nuts.
When Jess turned the baby over to Blair and Todd, she was still in such mortal pain, I could hardly stand to watch. She even had made a little list of the baby's schedule and likes and dislikes.
The story is far from over but I hope it keeps up the quality of story line so that the actors have the chance to shine as they have for the last three days. A lot of people say soaps are dead, passe, over the hill, boring, dumb,etc. Those people should watch the last three days of my show. They might just change their minds.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Apples and Oranges II

Well, you already know how I feel about comparing apples and oranges but here we go again. On the show, Britain's Got Talent. the two finalists were Susan Boyle, now famous for her lovely voice and not so lovely countenance and a dance group called Diversity.
Susan Boyle sings classic songs and just stands there. Diversity sure doesn't just stand there and there is a whole slew of them jumping around the stage in a magnificent way. They even have a little cutie who is pretty captivating. I think he is a boy but I could be wrong.
Now if in Britain, like America, mostly young kids watch this show, I think Susan didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of winning. I don't think she would appeal that much to the under 40 set but I am just guessing here. Maybe British teenagers are different. Diversity had a lot more appeal to the younger viewer as far as I could tell.
The grand prize is a performance in front of the Queen. Now I am guessing that the Queen may have enjoyed Susan Boyle more than the dance troupe but I'm sure she is a trouper and will enjoy Diversity to the best of her ability. After all she has been Queen for an awfully long time and she has had to suffer through worse things. Not that I think the dancers are bad. Far from it, the little bit I saw was remarkable--I'm just thinking of an old lady's preference. Sorry, your majesty, for the "old lady" but even you admitted to being long lived.
Anyway, Susan and Diversity had nothing in common, except they were on the same show. In fact, it was worse than Chris and Adam--at least they were both young and they both sang. I'm glad I didn't have to choose the winner of this one. This was worse than apples and oranges it was more like apples and....um.......chairs!