Friday, July 31, 2009

The Good Ole Days

I just channel surfed while having my lunch and came upon the old movie LONE STAR. It apparently was about Texas joining the union but I missed most of the movie and I don't know Texas history being an Ohio girl.
Anyway,. there was this giant brawl led by Broderick Crawford(who went on to play a cop on television when I was a young girl) and the Bad Guys with the Good Guys led by Clark Gable. It started with gun fire, went on to hand to hand combat and rifle butting in the head and the classic gunpowder keg in a horse drawn wagon(those poor horses) and through the whole thing not one drop of blood was drawn!
I love that about old movies. It is great to just imagine the carnage instead of looking at it. I hate that. Now not in horror movies. If you go to a horror movie and expect to see no blood you are pretty stupid in my opinion. Ok and war movies...although old Hollywood was good at that too. I don't like all that stuff and I would probably go to the movies more often if they got rid of a good bit of it.
I hated the movie THERE WILL BE BLOOD, but at least they were honest about it and gave you a heads up from the get-go. With all the ratings out there there should be one for blood. Oh and gratuitous violence. I know that they have a violence one but gratuitous violence is worse because you don't expect it even in a violent movie.
Anyway, back to LONE STAR. It all ended with Sam Houston(now him I heard of) came riding up with Geronimo(I kid you not) and he let Clark and Broderick duke it out to settle the whole thing. Since Broderick was already becoming a little chubby he didn't have a chance against Rhett Butler, oh, I mean Clark Gable. Ava Gardener was hovering in the background looking beautiful.
But My ABSOLUTE favorite part was when Broderick Crawford rode up to the Good Guys barricade and they asked him if he had any congressmen with him and he says yes and Clark says well, they need to get in there and do their jobs and the answer is no way and everyone starts shooting! All I could think was, OHMYGOSH, don't kill the'll never get in the Union. Especially when one Bad Guy got rifle butted in the head, what if it was a congressman?? Wouldn't they have to have a new election and all that stuff??
Apparently not because all it took was the fist fight between Clark and Broderick and it was all over but the shouting(which I heard on my way back here to type this blog).
AND the Lone Star became a state!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Thanks But No Thanks

OHMYGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sheri Shepherd just got a bikini wax on The View. I did not need to be exposed to that!! I only saw the last ten seconds or so because by the grace of God I was in the other room when it started but that was more than enough.
I mean really, what's next??? First Treat Williams' old and chubby belly and now this!! I don't know if I can take any more this week!
And the other hosts were in hysterics! What is so funny about having you know what pulled out by the roots on national television? My mind was whirling all over the place. Does this girl not have any pride?? And who wants to bare it all anyway?? No, don't tell me....I'm sure there are plenty of them. I read about them in those Chick Lit stories but to actually watch someone have it was a whole other experience.
Back to the mind whirling....Of course, they didn't show anything but I am a woman so I could kind of guess what was going on..hence the mind whirling. I didn't want to think about it but I kinda couldn't help it! Have you ever had something like that happen to you?? Plus a whole bunch of inappropriate words were whirling in there too and my Puritan side going stop thinking that and then the thought of the pain and when it was done and she said it was a Brazilian I was pretty sure what that was and the Puritan gasped and the woman went Ew! and not one part of the whirl thought it was the least bit funny.
Maybe I'm getting too old to appreciate the humor in it. Maybe if I ever had one, I'd have found it hilarious. But the only time I had a "Brazilian" was when the babies were born and I only have one thing to say to ole Sheri--just wait til it starts to grow out!!!!! Nobody will be laughing then.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Good Ad/Bad Ad

Have you seen Mary J Blige in a new commercial? I don't even know what it was for I was so fascinated by her. As she walked toward the camera, she would do a movement and her entire outfit and hair changed--presto!! I want to do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was so cool. I was so fascinated by the phenomenon, I paid no attention to what was being said or sold. Now that is my kind of commercial. Sometimes, I am glad we can't fast forward all the time.
On the other hand, it was followed by a commercial for McDonalds McCafe( you have to imagine the little mark over the Cafe--I can't find it to insert.) Anyway this guy in a minivan gets ragged on by a biker about his vehicle and then it starts to rain and the van guy gets all smug and says, "that's a Van-Ay to you." At least that's what I thought he said. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what in the heck that was supposed to mean. I have probably seen the commercial ten times and it finally dawned on me that he is saying van-ay to rhyme with cafe!!
omg That was completely stupid. Talk about going from the sublime to the ridiculous in less than a minute!!
Then to add insult to injury, we were watching THE STORM on NBC (not the whole thing just the last 25 minutes whilst waiting for the news. And they showed Treat Williams getting a massage (he's the bad guy I think) and it showed his bare body. Not all of it mind you, just a ...shall we say slice of his torso. OMG Mr Williams you should not have agreed to let that be shown. Older men and women should stay covered up!!!! Trust me. All I could think was "MY EYES"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's amazing what can get packed into less than five minutes of television, isn't it? I think I'll read a book tonight!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Oh Harry

Oh, Harry... you went and grew up on me!! No more the cute little boy who liked candy and saying "Illumiatis"(or whatever... I'm a fan not a fanatic) and then couldn't believe his eyes when the wand actually lit up. Your eyes don't glow at the banquet hall feasts anymore. You are a jaded wizard now. You are used to all the glitz and glamour and terror that comes with the territory.
You even like a girl who likes you back! What is up with that??? No more the cute little boy who got crushes on girls who didn't have a clue he was alive.
I miss that sense of wonder and guilelessness in Harry. I guess I'll have to break out the old books again. Oh well, everybody has to grow up--even Harry!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Good Trip/Bad Trip

When I was a young woman there were good trips or bad trips but they had nothing to do with going to the grocery store(not that I ever had a good or bad trip honest) which is where I went today.
It was a good trip because it looked like it was going to rain and some organized woman(wait, it's me) had the forethought to take an umbrella and not leave it in the car. I took it because I thought if I did it wouldn't rain...silly me.
It did rain--actually it was a deluge and the umbrella was a pretty good defense against it but I am still soaked down one pant leg and I have been home about 20 minutes now. I did manage to save our newspaper before it was soaked beyond belief so that was good too.
It was a bad trip because it poured down rain. The entire time from leaving the grocery store until getting home. It was also bad because I really hate those checkouts. I always try to use the self-check out but I forgot I bought beer and wine so I had to wait for someone to make sure I was 21(tee hee..the joke was on them!). The kid who came over and verified my age looked to be around 13 herself so...........what is up with that anyway? Plus she was a little snot. I had two items so I asked if she had to swipe it after the next one and she just walked away and tossed a nasty "NO" over her shoulder like I was the stupidest woman ever born. Well, at least I was 21!

The Nose Knows

OHMYGOSH!!! I just heard a report that Michael Jackson's nose went missing in the morgue. I bet that's possible. Have you seen the pictures? There have been more close ups of the nose than there ever were when he was alive. It'll probably be on Ebay at any moment. Or maybe Sotheby's will auction it off.
I never liked my nose. I think it is too big and has a goofy bump on it. I never even entertained the idea of doing anything too it ( oh, except one time when I was about 15 and had no idea what a "nose job" entailed).
I have come to respect my nose and understand that it doesn't rival that of Cyrano de Bergerac. It's just a nose. Well, not really. My nose has an uncanny ability to smell even the subtlest of scents. I'm always the milk smeller and the wine smeller. I can smell smoke on you from twenty paces. I can smell the sour sponge or the tiniest rose.
This is an ability that one should not sniff at(pardon the pun).. if there was a fire starting in your home, you would want me to be there to raise the alarm.
So anyway, MJ had an obsession with his nose. Apparently, he finally thought he got it right. I wonder if he could smell anything? He sure didn't notice his hair was on fire back in the day. If my hair was on fire, I would know in a hot minute(once again my apologies for the pun).
So what do you think the thief or thieves are doing with Michael's poor fake nose?? Putting it under glass? Selling it on the black market?? Having it transplanted onto their own face?? Who knows? It's probably just a hoax anyway.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


For some reason my television has turned Spanish on me. When I hit the mute button, it says Silencio instead of Mute. It's really cracking me up. None of the other commands come up in Spanish nor do the people on the television speak Spanish.
I had to make a couple of calls so I hit the mute button. The first time it silencioed(SP?? I took French)it was the local show with Fred Griffith and a couple of young people who I don't know. It made me smile to shut them up.
The second time it was Bruce Jenner. Silencio, Bruce!!! Now that I just loved. Oh and it shut up Bonnie Hunt too. It actually felt pretty powerful. OLE!!
Obviously, my Spanish side is mean and vindictive or else the television has some strange power over me when it speaks that's a scary thought. I would hate to be ruled by a Spanish speaking television. Most of the time I wouldn't know what it was talking about. But "Silencio" is pretty clear.
Oh, wait, I think it is talking to me again. It's saying..............Silencio, Susita!!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Song Keeps Going Around and Around

Boy, I hate it when a song gets stuck in your head. I really hate it when it gets stuck in your head when you are supposed to be going to sleep. Last night a song kept running through my head over and over until I just had to get out of bed and go and watch television for 2 HOURS(!)
until I was tired enough to actually sleep and it got out of my head.
BUT GUESS WHAT?? It is back this morning with a vengeance. It's not a bad song and it really makes me smile(at least most of the time) and I didn't even know my brain could multitask like it has been doing this morning. Even as I type this, the song keeps running quietly in the background. I ask you, is this madness or what???
I have tried replacing it with a different song but to no avail. I am beginning to wonder if it is ever going to stop. I suppose it will when I least expect it. At least it isn't a sad song or a long song like the one where someone left the cake out in the rain. Once I had When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again running through my brain but it got cancelled out by the one that is running through my head right this very minute.
Did you ever have that happen to you?? How in the world did you ever get it to go away? When I was learning from Oprah on how to be a more serene person etc, that guy she was working with would just say you should just empty your mind and relax. I have NEVER been able just to empty my mind unless I'm on the verge of sleep. I try and try but the song just keeps going around and around......... it's a good thing I'm retired and can sleep in if I need to.
I wonder if it ever happens to the President or Brad Pitt or Kim Hong-Il? Probably. I wonder what they do??

Friday, July 17, 2009

Sterling Advice

Well, I just read that Brad Pitt said you shouldn't be on the phone while you tinkle. REALLY? Then why do they put phones in the bathrooms of the finest hotels, hmmmm, Brad? Obviously you are not a girl...we could sit there forever on the phone if we wanted to. Oh, that's don't sit when you tinkle. Oh well, your loss.
I bet Angie has had at least one phone conversation in the john. Go ahead, just ask her.
It's probably best if you think before you make a public statement like that. Better you should have said, "Wash your hands after you tinkle." Now that I agree with!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Visiting Dignitaries

YAY!!!!!! My cousin Beth and her mom, my Aunt Fern are coming to visit us this week. They will get here tonight and I can't wait to see them.
We have lots planned--the tearoom, shopping, big family dinner(it was supposed to be a swim party but the weather isn't cooperating).
We will have fun dishing with our cousin since she is just back from HAWAII!!! I'm sure she'll have lots to tell. I can't wait--oops, already said that but it is OH SO TRUE!!!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Thirty and Counting

Boy! We have been married for thirty years...THIRTY YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never thought about that much in my youth but it is pretty much of an accomplishment.
It means that in spit of our flaws and quirks we have made a commitment to stay together and enjoy each other--foibles and all. I never thought I would want to put up with anyone's flaws and quirks for so long any more than I thought someone would put up with mine!
Do we always get along?? Not always. We have different ideas about some things and DH has to tap down the know- it -allism once in a while and I have to tap down the "poor little me"syndrome but most of the time we are comfortable in our own skins together.
We do a lot of things together. We work out, we fix dinner, we watch television, we give blood, we read, we sit outside and talk, we talk about our kids and on the weekends we go out to breakfast, go to the outdoor market, and try to catch up on our movie watching(although that is a harder task than one might think).
I know that sounds boring to some but for us it is just the right life and we look forward to 30 more of them(and in this day and age it's possible we'll make it since we will only be around 90!!)

Monday, July 13, 2009

On the Hill

I've been continuing to battle the ants in spite of all the spraying my husband has done and I think I'm winning but I can't help but wonder what is going on in the ole ant hill. I imagine something like this:
(On the Hill) As we enter we see the QUEEN and Ant 3 and Ant 4:

Queen: I want the two of you to go to the Gesings' and find me food. I WANT FOOD.....GOOD FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ant 3: But I thought you sent Ant 1 and Ant 2 there.
Ant 4: Yes your Antiness....whatever you say Queen Mother.
Ant 3: Shut up, Ant 4....What happened to them, Oh Queen?
QUEEN: Why, they are, um...coming home
Ant3: What do you mean, later?
QUEEN: like it there.
Ant 3: But they need to come home and bring your food.
QUEEN: UM...they will, they
Ant 3: Shouldn't we wait for them? To find out exactly where the food is?
QUEEN: Are you questioning my authority???
Ant 4: No, your Antiness...whatever you say, Queen Mother.
Ant 3 Shut up, Ant 4.......What happened to them, Oh Queen? Hmmmm?
QUEEN: Is that anyway to talk to your mother????? Now get going!
Ant 4: Yes, your Antiness...whatever you say, Queen Mother.
Ant 3: I'm not sure........ they should be back by now
QUEEN: I WANT MY FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO GET ME FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ant 3: Well, alright...but we're coming right back if there's any trouble!
QUEEN: There won't be any trouble (crossing her antennae behind her back) I promise.
Ant 3 and Ant 4: Yes, Queen Mother. We will be back.

They enter the Gesing home. I kill them. The Ant Queen is a liar........and fat.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Being There

OHMYGOSH! I have heard the song I'll Be There so many times over the last week that it is running in my head all the time! Even in the night when I get up to answer nature's call!
I always liked that song but this is ridiculous. And I am hearing the original version from when MJ was about ten years old!
Isn't it funny how our brains work? I can hear that song as clear as day and MJ's voice just as it was the orchestration and everything. Now if I can hear it so well, why can't I sing it just as well? Somehow that doesn't translate over.
That's why all those jerks who can't carry a tune in a bucket go on American Idol all the time and say they are a terrific singer. What they hear in their heads is the original version but what comes out is ...well...scary.
It is a little weird to have the Jackson brothers in your head all the time. It is a little like having multiple personalities that can't get out so they just keep working in your head. I wish I could stop it but I don't know how.
Last night, at the end of the show we were watching, they played the song Never Can Say Goodbye. Now I thought for sure that would take over as they played the part of that song with those words over and over and over but apparently it is not a strong enough song to take over. It must have a weak personality!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

"Little" Debbie

Man, have you got a load of Debbie Roe in the last couple of days??
First, she looks exactly the same as she did in the 90's...well, except meaner.
I saw her interaction with the press and paparazzi and she was angry and dropping the F-bomb all over the place.
What a sweet, retiring little flower MJ picked for his bride. Really, I was shocked. First of all she was 3 times the size of the poor man ( I think he weighed about 100) and she looked like she could lift weights--big ones. Now we find out she has a mouth like a ...well, I was going to say a sailor but I don't want to insult them.
She wants her kids back, doesn't she?? So she could be angry and mean just about that. But if I wanted my kids back I guess I would try not to drop the F-bomb in public and on film. I'm just saying.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Waiting Room II

I hate to wait. No, really. I am always the first one ready when we go anywhere and it's starting to get on my nerves.
How can a man take so long to get himself dressed and coiffed?? OK, coiffed is a weird word but I am still using it. I was ready in under a half hour--shower and all. My hair is longer..I use a hair dryer and a curling iron...I need makeup(Oh believe it, it's true)....I had to iron my clothes...well, you get the idea.
He washes his hair(took shower last night) and gets dressed and I've been w-ai-t-i-n-g.
It is bad enough to have to wait for a doctor or a dentist but your own husband????????