Pants Woes Again

Now my sis and I went to try on jeans today and boyohboy, it was a harrowing experience.  One size is just too large by a skosh and the next size down is so tight you have a giant muffin top--in my case, more like a loaf of bread.  Even if those stretch out, they are sure to be too tight in the waist.
And while browsing through the ten thousand pairs we saw, I had to keep hoisting up my jeans from the other day--you know the ones that fit like a glove.  I would really like to go out in public and not have my jean's crotch be halfway to my knees every twenty minutes.
Now I ask you, is that to much to ask?  I am not asking for a perfect fit or a pair of jeans that makes my body look 20 years younger. Honest! 
I know somebody out there is saying, just wear a belt , dummy.  Well, I don't like belts.  They show through your top and it looks stupid.  Plus it bunches up the jeans in all the wrong places.  So, no belt.
Some of you are going, duh, elastic top jeans.  Did you ever try a pair of those on?????  Like wearing a diaper unless it's jeggings.  Even then the top elastic turns over and is uncomfortable.
I have an answer for everything you can think of.....so stop it!
I know I will find the jeans that fit sometime soon.  But if you see me in public hitching up my jeans, at least you'll know why.