Archie

Archie is getting married. No, really, it's true. Will he pick Betty? Will he choose Veronica? Will Reggie marry the loser? Will Jughead be the best man? All these questions will be answered in a special edition of the Archie comic book sometime this summer.
I hope he marries Betty. She is so wholesome and she really, really loves him. Maybe she loves him too much and this is unrequited love. Then he should marry Veronica. But every time she dumps him, she goes out with Reggie. Maybe she doesn't really love Archie. Maybe his love is unrequited. Then he should marry....oh, wait, that's both the girls. Uh-oh. Well, he could marry Reggie--now that would be a comic worth reading. I'm sure both Betty and Veronica would be crushed.
But back to the girls. Archie, I will give you a hand here. Betty is the girl next door. I bet she knows how to cook and would love to keep house for you. She might even get a job to supplement your income. You two would have a great life working hand in hand. Plus she is a natural blond!
Now if you choose Veronica you will lead a life of luxury. You wouldn't have to work unless you wanted to. You could get rides in the limo and laze about on the yacht while Veronica changes into the myriad of bikinis she owns. You two would have a great life sitting around getting old and fat. Well, not Veronica. She probably has a personal trainer. So just you would get fat and she would get sick of you and get a divorce and marry Reggie.
So now I can see your problem. There is no good choice here. You should just stay single...or marry Reggie.