Friday, February 20, 2009

A Tale of Three Women

Have you seen Barbara Walters on The View lately?? She is blonde as can be and as skinny as a toothpick. You know, she has been a pioneer for women in broadcasting and many women consider her a leading feminist. She makes fun of her uppity friends who eat like birds and is always supporting women just the way they are. She never called Rosie fat(at least not in public) and she never tells Elizabeth that she has a stick up her butt. So. Imagine my surprise when Barbara and the girls were discussing Hillary Clinton's trip to Asia and Barbara says that she saw Hillary getting off the plane and she looked like she had gained weight! Say What????
And maybe she decided to give up dieting since she has such an important job....HUH?????? Barbara, what is up with you?? Hillary Clinton is a leader of our country and we are interested in her skills and abilities not her dress size!!!!!! We can't all be a size 2 like you and that is OK, got it?? Maybe she thinks because she is about a million years old it is ok to start taking shots at people. Well, it isn't. What a BI-OTCH!!

I went to the grocery store yesterday(in inclement weather) and did some grocery shopping to get us through the weekend. Everything was fine until I came to the check-out girl. Speaking of Bi-otches--she was a big giant one!
I always bring recyclable bags for my groceries so it feels like I'm doing my part(at least a little) to save the planet. She took first one and put it on her little hook and since I had put my frozen and cold stuff at the front of the order, I suggested nicely she might want to start with the insulated bag instead. She looked at me like I was a booger and said she would use that one on the second hook (which I hadn't noticed). SO I apologized. Then one of the cereal boxes was hitting the screen that shows me what I've spent. She picked it up and put it in front of all the food. SO I said I would put it back with the other cereal and she said,"I'VE got it." OOOOOOKAAAAAY.
Believe me I didn't open my mouth again except to say, "Have a nice day." Oh, yes, I did. I told that mean and nasty woman to have a nice day. She was abusive and looked at me like I was some kind of scum on her shoe and I still said "Have a nice day." What a sap I am!

My husband has no fear. He would take any risk posed to him. Skydiving, lead him to the first plane. Diving underwater?? Go for it. Speed in a race car?? Sign him up! Scary movies don't phase him. Big scary guys don't worry him. But I have found the chink in his proverbial armor. He is scared of Winona Judd! He absolutely quakes with terror when she does those ads for that weight loss product. He always says with a tremble in his voice, Ew, look at her. I like to tease him that she is his scary girlfriend.
I can't say I blame him. The poor girl has to have image insecurities when she has that beautiful mother and that gorgeous sister. It isn't easy to be the ugly duckling in a family of beauties. She has a beautiful singing voice, I understand. But that doesn't make a gawky teenager feel any better about her looks. If her hair wasn't so orange and she didn't wear all that make up she might look not as scary. Again, I have to wonder who tells her that looks good. As with other celebrities who look weird or wear weird clothes(see my Golden Globe rant), who told her to have Bozo the Clown red hair and slap on the pancake makeup?? Whoever it is should be shot!

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