Voicing My Opinion

OK, I watch The Voice...sometimes.  More this year than ever before, I don't know why.  Well, yes I do, I have a teeny tiny crush on Usher.  Even if he wore a camouflage suit with bermuda shorts.  He just strikes me as a nice kid.
Isn't he a great dancer?  Didn't he teach Justin Bieber the moves?  Well, he sure can't chair dance!  He looked so awkward, I felt sorry for the poor kid.
Last night's finale went just the way I predicted.  The young blonde girl won.  They even dressed her up for the occasion in a long golden gown.  Give away much?  DH  thinks I am just a skeptic but trust me, they knew she was the winner.  The dress just gave it away.
I have nothing against her, mind you.  I just think pretty country singers win these competitions too many times.
Anyway, the announcement of the winner was the least of the show for me.  Here is what I enjoyed the most.
OMG, Pit Bull.  What is up with him and how did he get so popular?  He worked with Jennifer Lopez and now Christina!  I think he is goofy looking and I don't want him to do a crotch thrust at me or anyone else.  How did that get to be a thing?  Even Beyonce did it in a soda commercial.  Not my favorite thing to see.
Then there was Nellie.  My mother's name was Nellie.  I wonder what she would think of her namesake?  She used to tell us that the kids in her neighborhood called her Nellie with the big fat belly.  I don't know why it bothered her so much, she was skinny as a toothpick.  The Nellie on the view had big fat pockets!  Now what on earth did he have in those cargo pockets??  Weights to keep him form floating away?  A sandwich?
Then there was my favorite of the night.  Cher.  Oh, yes indeed, Cher made an appearance.  Someone needs to break the news to her that she is sixty seven years old.  Women of a certain age should not wear the following:  leathers, mesh tops, studs, and all of the above all together.   I don't care if you are skinny.  You are a grown woman.
Also what was up with the hair?  It looked like chicken feathers piled on your head.  You could sing a modern song and even dress in a modern way without looking like you are trying to be a teenager.  I'm just sayin'.
I don't think I can describe how sorry I felt for her.  It looked like she was clutching at straws....or her youth.