Sunday, March 22, 2009

I'm Ready for My CloseUp, Mr. DeMille

These new television screens that are so big and also in high definition may bring about a change in television make up and commercials soon. The present day make up and close ups just don't hack it on HDTV!
I noticed it first on my soap operas. One guy, who is not old by any means but like the rest of us is not getting any younger, has deep grooves in his forehead which the makeup staff tries to cover up with, uh, makeup. I never noticed the grooves on his forehead on the old television but now that his head is almost as big as mine, MAMMA MIA!!!!! Those are some grooves he has! They kind of get smoothed out in the middle so he looks even sillier than if they went all the way across his forehead. I can't stop staring at it and things are soaping up and I need to concentrate on the story line.
Poor old Andy Rooney, on Sixty Minutes, has the same problems times 1,000. He has deep grooves all over his face and they try their darnedest to smooth them over but it isn't working. He'd be better to embrace his old fogeyness and lose the makeup.
And ...let me make this clear I love food...there are the close ups of the yummy food at a restaurant that shall remain nameless. MMMM try our spinach dip and there are these giant strings of cheese and some other unidentifiable glop that looks unfortunate at best. Then pan up close to the steak-MMMM you can see the striations in the fancy piece of shoe leather. Food does not look appetizing close up and in HD and GIANT SIZED!! Trust me. I can hardly stand to look at the ad.
Now, if the powers that be are smart they will pan back from the food--can't you hear them now to the cameraman--Step away from the food.--and I might go out to eat again. And poor soap opera hunk, lose the makeup, you don't need it and if you saw yourself you would probably be upset! And Mr. Rooney, come on, you love being an old curmudgeon--wipe off the pancake and get on with it... Speaking of pancake, they look gross close up too.

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