Sunday, March 15, 2009


Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Remember that old knock, knock joke? Even my kindergarten students could remember it. You just keep saying knock, knock and when they say who's there you say banana until they get sick of it and the last time you say orange... get it?
I was never good at telling jokes. I do know another one at the present time. It is this: What do you call a cow with two legs?? Lean meat. Get it?? Don't you always hate it when somebody says get it after a joke?
I used to know this really long joke about the Pope but I can't remember it anymore. I learned it way back in the seventies and it has finally slipped my mind. You should be glad because it would take forever to read.
When we were in Disney World we went to the Monster Inc. show and they asked you to send them jokes before the show so I went with the old standard. What did the mayo say to the refrigerator? Shut the door, can't you see I'm dressing? Nobody laughed. I don't think people realize that mayo is like dressing. They only think of Italian or Ranch. They don't know there is another kind of dressing. If they ate Miracle Whip they might know and maybe they would have laughed.
I love to hear jokes. One time at school, I don't remember why, but kids told jokes over the public address system. One kid told a joke about a man in a bar(I Know) who kept ordering drinks and he kept losing body parts until he disappeared. When the other customer said to the bartender Wow did you see that?? The bartender said,"Yep. He should have quit whilehe was still a head." It was hilarious and so inappropriate that it made me laugh even more.
Comedians used to tell jokes but not anymore. Now they have routines. I think I could remember a routine. See, I always had a secret desire to be a comedian. I think I could make people laugh except most of them are based on the person's life and I am pretty normal. Some weird stuff happens to me but not enough for a routine. I get stepped on in the mall a lot(I think I am invisible) and I get in trouble a lot but I'm never quite sure what has happened that was so bad.
The other day I was in a store at the mall with my sis when a woman called to us rather loudly,"Ladies." We both jumped out of our skins but guiltily turned around(mind you, we had done nothing). She asked us if we wanted to try a new fragrance. After turning her down,we both started laughing. We get in trouble so easily.....well, we were both paranoid!
See that is a little bit funny but not enough for a routine. Other stuff happens at the mall too..we swear one sales clerk was following us around listening to our conversation and a while back, there was one saleswoman we swore thought we were shoplifters. She followed us around every time we went in that store.(maybe she liked our conversation too, I don't know)
Anyway, it isn't easy to be funny. It has to come you glad I didn't say banana?

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