Getting Enlightened

I am taking the Oprah course that goes along with the book THE NEW EARTH by Eckart Tolle. It is very cerebral and sometimes hard to follow but I am really trying to apply it to my life.One thing I am trying to do is not live in the past. I am trying not to worry about what happened before in my life and just let it go. I am trying to live in the present with no expectations for the future.Doesn't that sound wonderful?
It isn't very easy to be so enlightened. You should see this author. He is the most calm person I have ever seen in my life. He has a soft voice and doesn't get riled up or passionate. As someone who is riled up and passionate at the drop of a hat, it is difficult to believe I could ever come close to being like him. He is sort of driving me nuts!
Then, there's Oprah who has no problem viewing herself as an enlightened being. She is always telling him what he means or what he is saying. He just sits there and looks benign. I would have strangled her about umpteen times by now.How am I doing on the enlightenment so far?
Also, there are ads. You cannot fast forward through them. Now I understand that. But if you are going to make me watch ads how about coming up with MORE THAN ONE!! The post it girl is going to drive me into putting my fist through the computer because I really want to strangle her and her "passion" for books(really for those post-its she has about 100 of them on the book)Then there is the car guy. I haven't really paid too much attention to him--I don't even know what kind of cars he is selling--maybe Chevy. Any way, he marches around with a bunch of little kids. At least there are three or four different ads with him so I am not as inclined to strangle him. Oops, I am forgetting my enlightenment lessons. Stay in the moment. Don't self criticize.
Then there are the Skype callers. I love them . They are all so enchanted and moved by the book they are changing their whole lives. Oh, please. I am a pretty intelligent girl and I didn't get half of it. They all are so thankful to Oprah they could start their own cult.Oops, I did it again. Don't self criticize and don't criticize others.
Also, there is me. The voice in my head has a hard time being quiet during those classes. It is thinking that Oprah looks a little fat and Eckart has bags under his eyes. I am thinking it is a little cold in my room and if I should move my computer to another place. I am thinking maybe I am a little hungry.
Anyway, you are supposed to embrace stillness--of the body and the mind. I never had trouble keeping my body still--the mind is another matter. So far, I may be a miserable flop as an enlightened being. It can't happen overnight, I know that. But just between you and me, Oprah does look a little fat!