Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Sticking My Neck Out

I am going to confess to one of my faults...Oh, yes, I have them in abundance but this is one I have always kept to myself. I think people with short necks look funny...I call them no necks.
Having no neck doesn't mean you are unattractive, it is just sort of a funny phenomenon. It isn't a common thing either--unless you are a linebacker in the NFL and then it seems to be the norm. Although some of them are not official no necks they are just fat necks. Did you know they actually work out their necks to look like that? I guess it makes sense since they butt heads with other big guys with no necks but I often wonder what they do..Neck ups?? Anyway I think they are the only ones who actually want no necks...otherwise, I think it is just .....oh, awkward.
During the war in Kuwait, I was glued to the television for every ounce of news I could get and my "favorite" reporter on CNN or C-Span or something like that was a guy named Zelnick. I forget his first name because I promptly noticed he had no neck so I always called him NoNeck Zelnick. Clever, huh?? SO I wasn't watching the war news to keep abreast of current events, I was busy having a good laugh at NoNeck. Really I wanted to know what was going on there also as I had a student at the time who was here from Kuwait and her family dearly wanted to return home(to my credit).
Now there is the new British Prime Minister--Gordon Brown...or as you may have guessed, I call him No Neck Gordon Brown. Really, his head sits right on his shoulders. I can't even imagine how that must feel. Maybe it's good. Maybe your neck doesn't get tired. Maybe you never get a stiff neck. I know the British are all about stiff upper lips, maybe a stiff neck would be superfluous.
And check out Rachel Ray the next time she's on television. It took me awhile to figure out she was a no neck because she had that long hair. She got it cut recently and I noticed she's one of them too. Apparently having no neck doesn't effect your perky quotient. Anyway, she needs to grow her hair back out cause it is cut right at her no neck and it really points it out.
Now I'm sure you think I am a very superficial person--judging people by the lack of neck but really, I'm not. At least not about that. It just fascinates me. Keep your eyes open. Every once in a while you'll see one and before you know it you will be morbidly fascinated just like me!

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