You Can Read This One

Ha!  I am really getting driven crazy by the television ads lately...or should I say again.  I have one that I love to hate more than any other.  It is for the Ohio Lottery and there is this OBNOXIOUS woman who says that the Ohio Lottery Show is Aaawesoomme(awesome).  I wish I could record that voice and play it here for you.  If you wanted to drive someone mad, it would be a cinch with that one sentence.  Plus she is all smiles like she's really cool and all proud of herself.
If I met that woman on the street I would have to slap the crap out of her....only in my imagination of course.  If I really met her I would probably be a big suck up because she was on TV and is a "celebrity."  I'd probably tell her she did a great job or I love her commercial or wouldn't be able to speak.  I get really nervous around celebrities. 
My daughter used to work as an actress in a Medieval Faire when she was in college and I could barely speak to the other actors--especially the king or the queen or someone who put on a show by themselves. It must be some kind of self esteem issue.  I'm just glad she never ended up in Hollywood-I would have been struck dumb!
On the other hand, I would love to meet the guy who is in the insurance ads who wreaks havoc wherever he goes.  I love that guy!  Did you see him as the Christmas tree?   He always has on a suit and all those bandages on his head.  It cracks me up.  I loved him from the first--when he was the teenage girl who hit a car in the parking lot.  What a riot.  I'd hope I wouldn't be tongue tied with him.  I feel like I already know him.
I've never done well with strangers.  When my kids were little and we had to enter a room of people we kinda knew or didn't know at all, they always went first and then I only had to say I was their mother.  It worked well for someone who is shy in new situations.
Most people who know me would think I am the opposite of shy.  The key word here is "know".  I am outgoing and friendly for the most part--unless I am unsure of my status and then I become shy.
I'm betting the Ohio Lottery babe is anything but shy.  Maybe I should look her up...as long as I could suppress that slap instinct!

Don't Read This

I am in a mood.  I am feeling incredibly sorry for myself so I thought if I vent here I might feel a little better.
I recently lost a lot of money....and I don't know how.  It was my grocery money too.  When I couldn't find it I made myself physically sick and I think I have money loss hangover now.  Add to that, it happened not once but twice.
Am I losing my mind?  Is this early onset Alzheimer's?  I can't even imagine what happened to it.  I wish I could say I mindlessly spent it on something else but that's not the case.  Nobody could pickpocket my purse and even if they had, wouldn't they take all the money in an envelope, not leave me some?   Nobody broke into our house and again why would they take some and not all of my money?
Then that damn Mary Worth had to have her purse robbed and she had all the contents written down at home and called all the credit card companies within an hour.  Even a stupid comic strip character had more sense than me.   She's not even a real person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have  racked my brain and I come up with....well, nothing.  I remember where I had the money.  I remember counting it out to put in my grocery purse and then nothing.  I'm blank.
Now you might say oh you have a lot on your mind but truly I don't.
And I can't seem to lose weight.  I am getting fatter and fatter around the middle and I'm not pregnant.  Yes, I'm positive.  Too old and no uterus.  I don't think I eat that much.  I think I eat moderate portions. What the heck?  I work out five days a week and I faithfully get weight at Weight Watchers and watch the scale go up every week.  My pants are tight and I look utterly stupid.  I want to look nice.  I just saw the makeovers on Biggest Loser and I know they work like dogs but I try and I don't have masses of pounds to lose--just 20...or even 15.  Why? Why? Why?
And my eyes are going to pot.  I used to be able to work at the computer and do my crossword puzzle with no glasses but not now.  It seemed to happen over night.
My mother in law always said that growing old is not for sissies.  Well, I am...a big sissy I mean.  I don't feel like I mind getting old just I hate getting stupid.  I guess that's the whole thing that bothers me--I'M STUPID!
Now if you didn't follow my advice and you did read this don't make any comments or try and make me feel better.  I guess I need to wallow in my misery a little longer but I'll get over it.  Maybe Santa can bring me some brains.

Happy Birthday to Me

OMG  I am 62 years old.  I could take early retirement....wait, I am retired.  I can get an extra 15% off at Kohl's on Wednesdays.  Which is weird because you have to be 60 and they just told me recently that I am qualified.  Maybe I'm not 62 after all.
Sometimes I think I am a waste of space but I look back on 62 years and think I'm not so bad after all.  I had a teaching career where I actually helped some kids...and they've told me so.
I raised two great kids who have good jobs and nice homes and best of all they like us!  They want to hang out with us....well, not all the time but you know.
I have a good husband to whom I've been kind and mean and loving and snotty and provocative and  standoffish and he still loves me and wants to hang out with me...all the time.
I can remember some horrible things I've done and some wonderful things I've done.  I know I have really good friends and a couple of really good enemies.
I can remember being a child and a gawky adolescent and the memories don't make me shudder...well, maybe a little.
I have a few regrets but not anything I'd hang my head about.  The bad choices I made were usually fixable.
I've had great highs and deep lows...and I hope most people don't know about them.  The ones that do are my cherished friends and family who still want to hang out with me.
People tell me I'm funny.  Well, I guess I am sometimes...but everybody is sometimes.  I like to make people laugh.  I think most of us do.
This blog has been ridiculed for not being deep enough but I don't write it to be profound.  Some think I am lazy and ungrateful since I have no job and don't do some kind of volunteer work.  I tried to be a volunteer.  It just didn't work out.  I have opinions and I share them.  If I see something is wrong and I think I know how it could work out better, I say so.  I found out that is not a trait appreciated in a volunteer.
I have my routine and my own little way of doing things and it is a happy life.
I guess I don
t mind being 62 so much after all.

One Thing Leads to Another

I've always said that once you do one thing to fix up your house it leads to another.  You know, a fresh coat of paint makes the doorknobs look crummy or once you've put up wallpaper it is screaming for a border.  Well, I never will hang wallpaper again as long as I live but you get the idea.
I discovered recently that house fixing is not the only thing that leads from one thing to another.  Did you ever go on iTunes?  Well, it happens there too.  First you see a song you like or remember then that leads to another one and another one and another one.  Those $1.29s add up!  Fast!  I am learning to be very discerning but it is hard, my friends.  Actually I got one song for only 69 cents!  It was Gerry and the Pacemakers.  Some of you don't even know who that is and apparently not many people do as that is the cheapest song I have!
I remember going to see their movie, Ferry Cross the Mercy, and the movie theater actually stopped the movie until the girls stopped screaming.  It was a really dumb movie as far as I can remember.  They were just copying the Beatles...or the Monkees.
Anyway, see how one thing leads to another?  I always liked the Monkees but when I think of them it brings up memories of my kids when they were little.  They love the Monkees on Nickelodeon and they used to play the music and pretend they were the guys and it was really really cute and funny.
My kids were always creative players.  It might have been them and it might have been some of their playmates.  One of our neighbors used to show up at my door in the summer wearing a little wool hat and mittens and meowing like a kitty.  Pretty creative, no?
Trying to create a creative costume for Halloween is...well, trying.  My DH is going as a lumber jack.  I had the great idea of doing a couples costume and going as a tree.  Well, I racked my brain to think of some way to look like a tree and it was sounding more and more complicated and aren't couples costumes a little trite?  So, I am going as nothing.  I have a Happy Halloween tee shirt and one of those crazy looking little headbands.  Done and done!
So, as I said one thing does lead to another and we have finally led to the end. 
Happy Halloween!!!

Oh, John, We Hardly Knew Ye

John Kasich is really making me angry with all his talk of how public employees are ripping off their fellow Ohioans.  As far as I am concerned, the only public employee who is ripping off the Ohioans is John Kasich.
I am a retired teacher.  I paid toward my retirement and my employer matched it.  A lot of workers have that.  I paid for my health insurance the entire time also.  So do all my fellow teachers, retired and working.  We are not the enemy.
Kasich is able to skew things so that public employees seem to be better off than the middle class.  John boy, we ARE the middle class.
 Without us, you wouldn't have public services to offer.  You would have to educate your children, fight your own fires and protect your family yourself.  Let's just take educating your kids.  First, you have to stay home so you can't have a job unless it is at night when the kids are sleeping and who will protect them then?
You have to be able to think on your feet and develop a curriculum for your kids and choose the books they read.  You also have to teach them social skills so you would have to get together with some other kids at some point or another.  If your kid gets sick during lesson time, you have to stop and care for him or her while the other kids just wait.
Now, there are people out there that home school their children but they are supported by the Dept. of Education in Ohio so that they don't have to develop lesson plans or curriculum.  I admire those people and hope the best for their kids but to me there is nothing like an education with a diverse group of children your own age.
Teachers work hard.  Are there some who work the system? Probably, but I don't know any of them. When I worked, I worked hard and dedicated most of my time and a lot of my  own money educating kids.  So did my colleagues.  We kept studying ways to help kids learn better.  We tried adventurous ideas to help kids get along and learn to work in a group.  We taught kids to respect others and recognize their strengths and the strengths of others.
And now our Governor says I am a cheater and so are my colleagues.  How dare you sit in Columbus and judge what we do?  Come to Cleveland and teach--you wouldn't last an hour.  Try fighting a fire or arresting someone or nursing someone back to health...you would fail miserably.
It seems the governor skews the rhetoric in this direction so you all won't notice that he is taking away our legal right to collective bargaining.  No more give and take about class size or how many ambulances for EMTs or how many patients a nurse should serve. 
If we lose that right, then you are next...that's right Ohio, you are next.
If people had known that Kasich was going to go this route before the election, I wonder if he would have won?   I know my vote didn't put him there.  I hope yours didn't either.

This is For the Birds

Did you know that crows are as smart as a young child? Well, they are.  I learned that on some science channel yesterday.  Pretty interesting but also a little creepy.
Years ago, when we were in Disney World, there was a sign at a restaurant we were in that said not to feed the birds.  I joked that there were so many of them, that one day we'd come here and the crows would be in the chairs and we would be begging from them.   Eerily correct now that I know how smart they are.
And they learn...fast.  So what's to stop them from taking over?  That movie, The Birds, always creeped me out but now it is a real horror story. 
Crows' major concern right now is the acquisition of food but they learn to respect the feelings of other crows and notice how other crows interact with their peers.  Geez, some people don't even do that.
So I don't know about you but I'm practicing my crowing! Better to be safe than sorry.

Sorry, Charlie

There's a man who stands at the corner of 306 and Mentor Ave. who holds a tiny Ron Paul 2012 sign.
Sorry, buddy.  Ron Paul is not going to be the President.  I know you think he will change everything that is wrong, but he won't.  Neither will President Obama.  No one man can fix what ails us and we have to wake up and realize that.
The entire Congress of the United States needs to step up.  They need to get off their overpaid butts and get something done.  What ever happened to compromise?  Like I say I want 20 million and you say no, two million and we haggle and discuss and end up somewhere in the middle?
Now it's so bad that the young people of this country who need jobs are revolting against the establishment.  They have every right to protest and if they can facilitate change, more power to them. However they seem to have no leaders.  They need their own George Washington and Thomas Jefferson and John Adams and their comrades to lead the fight.
You can't have a successful revolution without charismatic leaders.  Personally, I thought Obama was it. I was wrong.  Does that mean I'm going to vote for Ron Paul or Mitt Romney?  Not on your life. If Mr. Obama is smart (and I'm sure he is) he will step up and be the leader and invite other strong advocates of  "Main Street" rights to join him.  Wouldn't that be thrilling?  If a President could really make some changes without the interference and the lassitude of his fellow leaders?
Too bad we can't recall all the Senators and Congressmen.  They could come home and teach school or be a firefighter and try to make ends meet and fight for their right to negotiate their contracts.  They wouldn't last a day!

Just Sayin'

This weekend our DD was home for a visit and on Saturday we watched the OU/Texas game as she is an OU Sooner.  Boomer Sooner!!  Whatever the heck that means.
Anyway, the Sooners are a great team.  I have a bone to pick with them though.  Their colors are crimson and CREAM.  Really, boys?  Are you football players or interior designers?  Whatever happened to good old red and white??  You know, Red and white!  Fight! Fight!  Crimson and cream! Dream?  Dream?  Self-esteem? Self-esteem?  Not exactly Rah rah, is it now?
Texas is no better.  They have burnt orange.  Really?  I know you got that name out of the box of 64 crayons we all know and love.  And according to DD, they don't even have a second color.  Burnt Orange! Fight! Fight!   Not so much.
In my day you were two colors and they were plain--like green and white for old Shore Jr. High.  Or blue and gold for Euclid High school and Kent State University.  I even had a white fake fur top and a green skirt in eighth grade.  I know, I know.  What a fashion statement.  That top was like a burlap sack on too.  What was I thinking?  Well, in my defense, I was only thirteen years old.
In high school and college we could get a big yellow mum with a blue ribbon to wear to the big game. Oh, how I loved those corsages. I think they are out of style now.
Football is not my favorite sport but it is rough and tumble.  So if your school has a color like burnt orange, it's time to start a petition to change the name of the color....like to orange or brown...and not to crimson and cream either!

Deer Me!

Not unlike many people in our part of Ohio, we have deer--alot of deer.  They are in the wooded area behind our house and they desperately look for food anywhere they can get it, i.e. my backyard.  At first it was exciting to see deer going past the house way back there in the woods but lately it is getting out of hand.
The first sign was when my neighbor told me that he saw a deer with it's front hooves on our tree/bush by the side of the house so it could pull down the branches and eat the leaves.  Then a friend told me she saw some deer coming out of our backyard and out toward our street on New Year's Eve like they had been at a party at our house!!
Pretty soon, the little fawns came too close to the house and ate things on people's patios.  The moms put a stop to that but not for long because now they all come and eat our flowers and our ground cover in the woods and our bushes and anything they can lay their lips on.
Our wooded back yard is bare as a bone--all the pretty and natural ground cover has been eliminated.
I haven't had a flower bloom in two summers.
So get deer repellent you say?  Now, why didn't I think of that.....wait, I did.  I got these little bags that a friend used in her garden and swore by.  Our deer ate them too.  Must have been cannibal deer....or vampire deer.
I tried the spray too and it would kinda work for a couple days and then it was useless and I would forget to get out there all the time.
Oh, I don't blame the deer.  They are losing their natural habitat and are desperate for food.  I get it.  I just stopped buying any plant that isn't an evergreen.  They don't seem to like those...........yet.
The deer are getting bolder too. I went back in the backyard to get a couple of chairs and there were two deer laying in my backyard like they owned the place.  You should have seen the look the older one gave me.

Then one early evening I got home from the gym and nearly jumped out of my skin.  There was a deer right by my garage.  You know how they can stand so still so at first I didn't even notice it.  But then it made a small movement and I screamed.  Oh, yes, screamed.  The damn thing didn't even flinch until I got the garage door going and the noise finally scared it away. It was so close to the house you would have thought it was our pet!
So I always tell DH(and anyone else who will listen, frankly) that I'm waiting for the day a deer knocks on my door and says,"Hey, lady.  What you got in there to eat?"

Out and About

Well, the whole world has gone mad....at least the driving population of my town has.  Yesterday, I had someone pull right in front of me!  I wasn't a car length from the drive she was in and out she comes!!
Three guesses....she was on the phone.  I don't think she even saw me.  I would have beeped her but my new Soul has the timidest sounding horn.  When we were going to Myrtle Beach a man almost hit our car on the highway when he was changing lanes(smack dab into where we were) so DH beeped him--I'd say he layed on the horn and the tiny beep beep that came out of the car was hilarious.  I didn't laugh at the time because he almost hit us but thinking back on it...well, it cracks me up every time.  DH probably wishes we had a horn like a semi.
I usually don't get upset when someone does something stupid on the road.  I'm not really in any hurry these days and I can wait for them to right the wrong and continue on my merry way but yesterday was the living end! 
I have a new iphone and I love playing on it but NOT IN THE CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The iphone is a fascinating tool.  It has a great camera and I can download all these free apps and I can shop at itunes.  That itunes could be a sticky wicket.  You know how one thing leads to another?  I thought that only applied to house repairs but apparently it applies to itunes also.  Once I get started it is hard to stop.  If anyone wants to buy me a gift--an itunes gift card will suit me fine.  It is so fun to go through all that music.  My first five downloads reflect my eclectic taste in tunes--CeeLo Green's Forget about You, Sharon, Lois and Bram's A-You're Adorable, Stevie Wonder's Isn't She Lovely, The Beatles DayTripper and Linkin Park's In the End(affectionately known at our house as the scrub brush song).
Our gym moved to a new location in a strip mall.  Which is all good.  More room and nicer amenities. Pull right up to the door.  Yesterday, I neglected to lock my car and quickly went back to do so.  When I opened the door I almost clocked two guys walking by.  Where did they come from?  Everybody apologized and no harm was done but geez, don't they know the rules?  Pull up to the store you want and go in.  Right?  Who walks the sidewalk at a strip mall?  Well, these two guys did.
SO, that is me out and about.  Some days I think I should just stay in!

Siriusly, Folks

I am listening to 60's on 6 on my new Sirius radio.  I am loving it.  It plays a lot of repeats--like how many times can you  listen to Henry(or should I say 'Enery?) the Eighth before you get tired of it?  But the fun thing is it reminds me of my old radio station that played the same songs over and over and everyone loved it.  The great thing about 60's on 6 is that once in a while they throw in a song that I haven't heard for 45 years and I can sing along like I just heard it yesterday.
Just think of all the songs that are stuffed into your brain.  Our songs were short and to the point.  Not many lyrics and an easy melody to learn.  Songs that made me think I could sing!  Now I still like the music of today but there is something about the nostalgia factor.
Some of the songs from back in the day have hardly any lyrics--like Suzy Q--the song my DH thinks is great and I hate.  We have a lively discussion about it every time I change the channel if it comes on.
I really don't like any song I know with my name in it...like A Boy Named Sue or Susan.  I always wanted a cute song to be about me like Windy or Stormy or Barbara Ann, even.
I could go on and on about songs with my name in them but I will spare you that tirade.
All these songs bring back memories of my sis and I, school events and young loves, and terrible dates.
It's wonderful even when they play Suzy Q!!

OMG!

I haven't blogged in such a long time because I thought I couldn't access it.  Thanks to my dear daughter, I am back. 
I am in the same spot as the "shoemaker's child" as I am a Systems Administrator's wife with no computer of my own.  I have a sub but it doesn't have my favorites so I thought I couldn't get here.  I tried by going to Sue's Views but it just showed me my last post.
I have had so many things to say and now I can't really remember them.  Oh, well.  Here goes.
What's with the commercials where food attacks the person?  One guy gets smacked by a corn dog, one guy catches on fire from breakfast and another guy gets punched in the face by ice cream.  Really?  That's the way we represent food problems now?  I've had enough of fighting food.
How about Lady Gaga dressed up as a guy at the MTV awards?  We really didn't recognize her for a full five minutes.  We came in late on the awards show so we didn't know she was playing her alter ego.  It made me think of when I spent a Halloween as Gus...my alter ego.  He had a black eye and mouthed off to my principal.  It was kinda fun so I get why she did it .  Better than being carried in in an egg.
And Jennifer Hudson, stop getting so skinny!  You look beautiful but with each new commercial you are thinner and leaner and longer.  I've been on Weight Watchers for a year and I've lost 9 lbs.  And I don't look leaner or thinner or longer---only one year older.
I need some food to smack me in the face!
Oh well, glad to be back and hope to get here much more often.

Lucky

I am the luckiest mom in the world as far as I'm concerned.  My kids are all grown up and they still choose to hang around me and DH.  We had such a fun weekend together.
The whole weekend was capped off by Mother's day and a special gift.  Two whole meals made by my family and I didn't have to do a thing.  German apple pancake for breakfast and salmon packets on the grill for dinner.  Mmmmmm.  Champagne and strawberries with custard for dessert. How lucky could I be?
Gifts,too.  Let's just say my kids know what I like.
It seems a little funny to call my grown children "kids" but I still see their little children faces when I look at them and I have to shake myself and remind myself that they are grown with jobs and responsibilities that they handle just fine on their own, thank you very much.
God blessed me the day he sent us our children and I thank him every day...except the days they tease me too much(until I blush!).  As they say, they tease because they love!
Thanks, kids for a wonderful day and a wonderful life being your mom.

Good By, Osama

Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Way to go , Navy Seals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Happy Day 2

Oh boy! The pics of my faves have arrived.  Check em out

That's the dress wrapped in tulle.

Here is the ugly hat cousin!

This is the blue outfit--just ignore that other chick.

LOVE THEM!! Love the Internet for getting these out there so fast.

Oh, Happy Day

I just watched the wedding of the century(so far)!  It was really beautiful.  The bride and groom seemed nervous but happy.  Especially him.  I think he had sweaty palms.  She looked radiant.  Oh, and she got his name right.
Now, that that's out of the way....what a dress!  Grace Kelly much?  I couldn't believe how much that dress reminded me of the Princess of Monaco's.  There were rumors that the bride designed it herself and if she did she got a heavy dose of inspiration from the first one.
In the Cinderella story, there are the ugly stepsisters.  In this story, there were the cousins wearing ugly hats.  Did you check our Fergie's kids?  Yikes!  The one hat looked like a giant stiff bow that started at the top of the girl's head! It was UG-LEE!  I never even looked at their faces or their dresses.
Most of the hats were intriguing which is why I never looked at any of the dresses except a couple stand outs.  The woman in the BRIGHT BRIGHT royal blue outfit caught my eye and the lady whose dress was wrapped with black tulle and had some kind of bow thing on the shoulder were the stand outs for me.
Those two crazy kids should have made friends with more American celebrities.  The poor Beckham's were shown on camera about a thousand times.  He sure is handsome and she sure doesn't smile often.  I know she's pregnant so I didn't even bother to check out her dress.
A lot of the hats looked like dinner plates or frizbees.  I wonder how that style got started?  The Queen had a normal looking hat on and wore bright yellow so she could be spotted.  I heard she always does that.  I was hoping she would wear pink.
Another surprise were the mother of the bride and Camilla both in "almost white" ensembles.  I know they were really gray or beige but they sure looked white on camera.  I thought that wasn't allowed so you wouldn't show up the bride(as if they could).
All week I heard how William would honor his mother at the wedding.  I must have missed it.  I wondered why on Earth he would do that as this was a wedding not a memorial...but the TV reports kept insisting and like I said, I didn't see it.
Prince Charles looks as old as his mother!!  She must be taking some youth potion that none of us knows about.  PC had a cane and I thought it was part of his uniform but it looked like he really needed it.  Old polo injury, perhaps?
Did you see that Harry is getting a bald spot just like his brother?  What a strong gene that one must be.  Harry seemed to be having a pretty good time and it looked like he was trying to jolly his brother up a bit.
When the couple left the church, they were holding hands the old fashioned way(by that I mean like Henry the 8th or even further back) but his knuckles were white and so were hers.  I think they were just holding each other up.
I loved how the bride said "Wow" when she saw the crowd waiting for the kiss.  It was brief and it was repeated but still brief.  One commentator said he lost money on that.  They were even betting on the length of the kiss over there.  Those crazy Brits.
One thing for sure, the Brits are very on time.  Their schedule for the day went along without a hitch.  But where was the parade?  I wanted a parade with all those soldiers dressed in the cool uniforms.  It seemed like there was going to be a parade but nope.
Nobody wishes those two kids more luck than I.  They live in a fishbowl and have to carve some sort of family life out in spite of it.  God bless them!

Believe Me

I always thought that Donald Trump was a character.  You know, with the hair and everything.  I never thought he was certifiable!
He thinks he is going to run for President and so far, his strategy has been to question Obama's birth certificate and has embraced the idea that he wasn't born in the USA.  Now that the President has released the entire document, the Donald will be mollified when it is examined by experts to make sure it is not a forgery.  How stupid does he think the President and his team are?  Why would they forge a document that is under such scrutiny?   The whole situation is laughable.
Then I heard his strategy for lowering the price of gasoline.  He is gonna look 'em straight in the eye and say "Listen here, buddy" or some such thing and of course, the Arab princes and the oil barons and the foreign oil magnates are going to be really worried and lower the prices in case the Donald says, "You're fired."
How naive can this guy be?  Doesn't he have millions or even billions of dollars?  He thinks he can intimidate those who supply the oil and they'll just cave?  I can see them laughing their asses off while they ignore his wishes.
Mr. Trump has given us many hours of enjoyable television lately.  I loved it when Joan Rivers was on Celebrity Apprentice.  I love that NeNe lady dissing Star Jones at every turn.  That is something he does well.  Keep entertaining us, Donald.  You're good at it and I'm sure it has helped to line your coffers.
Stay out of the political arena...it's no place for amateurs.

Spring has Sprung 3

Well, she's back!  No, not me.  The robin!  She just isn't giving up.  She built that nest there and she's going to stay there by hook or by crook.  We saw her yesterday.  The nest still looks measly but there she was staring at us with a cocky attitude.  Yep, I said a cocky attitude.  If she could talk she would have been saying "What you looking at?"
So we will see.  I will take pics if I can today.......if  her highness will allow it that is.

Spring has Sprung 2

Oh, I was right all along.  It rained and was crummy here all day yesterday and when Iwnet to show my Daughter and DH the nest, it was all wrecked.  I don't think an animal could get to it so it had to have just fallen apart in the rain. I thought it was a futile attempt and It turns out I am smarter than a robin!  Yay me!!
Poor Mrs. Robin and poor me!  Now no babies to watch.  Sad.

Spring Has Sprung

Even though the weather would never suppoet the idea, Spring is here in lovely Mentor, OH.  How do I know this?  A robin has built a nest at the back of my garage and it has been fascinating to watch.  My garage is attached to the house and when I sit on my family room couch I can see it.  One day, not so long ago, I noticed a robin holding a piece of paper towel or napkin or maybe even tissue paper and it was struggling to take it up to the lamp that is next to the back door of the garage.
I thought that bird was pretty dumb considering the paper was bigger than it was and it kept dropping it about a million times and didn't seem to get the idea that the action was futile.  It finally flew away, the paper got blown away by the wind and I thought nothing more of it.
A couple days later, I had to laugh as there was a long piece of some kind of dry plant hanging from that lamp and I thought to myself that the robin was a dodo and had realized the space was just too small and left for an easier location to build its nest.  Every day for about a week, I would glance out and that one lone "string" was hanging from the lamp and I just had to chuckle to myself about how dumb that bird was.(although not the stupidest bird in the world, that award goes to a cardinal from my childhood).
The last two days I have been really busy.  I was out to lunch with friends for like three hours and I am finally able to do some housework so I didn't look out the window for a couple of days.
Yesterday, Lo and Behold, there's a nest on the lamp.  The bird is there all the time staring at me.  I owe it a huge apology.  It is the most clever bird in the outdoors.(The indoor award go's to my Sis' bird who is ever so smart)
It's pretty secure looking too.  I would love to take a picture but I don't know where the camera is and my phone takes lousy pics.  I will ask DH to take one tomorrow and I will post and when the baby birds arrive I will post again.  That bird is probably the mother bird of all time.  She stuck to it until she made a home for her babies.  I think it's a her.  She is looking a bit chubby so I'm guessing she is filling up with eggs.  I don't know much about a robin's mating habits and I never saw a pregnant robin before so I"m just guessing.  All I can say is that compared to the robin in the above picture, my robin is a lot more shall we say rotund..
So stay tuned and see what happens to Mrs. Robin.  I just can hardly wait.

Jeepers Creepers

You know who really gives me the creeps?  Lady Gaga?  Not really  Marilyn Manson? Nope.  Freddy Kruger?  Not so much.  The scariest of them all award goes to THE OLSON TWINS!!!
You remember them, don't you?  If you have a child around my kids' ages you probably watched them every week ad nauseum when they were little tykes.  And they were cute.  Tiny and cute.
Now, they are still tiny.  Frighteningly tiny.  And not so cute.  One ounce above death weight is not the least bit cute.  Jutting cheekbones just don't look very appealing.  However their brain power doesn't seem diminished by their lack of sustenance.
They have a clothing line and now they have an eyewear line which is apparently brand new.  They started off as moguls way back when as little girls they started making little movies that went direct to DVD or whatever was the recording device back then.  Now, they are rich, tiny, skinny, and rich.
I don't know why but that scares me to death.  What if one of them decides to follow in The Donald's path and runs for President one day?  How creepy would that be?  I bet you are getting goosebumps right about now, aren't you?  And not from excitement.
I wish that being skinny and rich was not the new standard.  Just think if one of them is President they might make the whole nation go on a diet--a real one.  We'd all be walking around starving but we would look great........as long as we had the official Presidential eyewear!

Fare Thee Well

Ohmygosh, my soaps are cancelled.  I can hardly believe it's true.  I watched both All My Children and One Life to Live since the first day they were on.  Really.  I watched  the conniving Erica Kane go from a snotty teenager who gave her mother nothing but grief to a grandma who still connives but she claims it's always for the good of her family.
Family is important on the soaps.  They have big expansive families so you really have to watch who you date.  Right, Erica?  She dated her own brother for a while there.  Any new arrival could be related to you in some way.  Need a new leading man?  Bring in Erica's son who she thought she aborted.(I know I know).
Things getting boring in Llanview?  Just give poor old Vicki another personality or two or three.  And if she hasn't enough personalities let her poor daughter suffer from the same condition and the possibilities are endless!
One Life to Live has always been my favorite truth be told.  I guess it doesn't matter any more since  AMC is going away by September.  It is being replaced by something called The Chew.  REALLY?  That's the name you came up with???  But, I digress.  OLTL has Vicki Lord who is played by Erika Slezak.  Her father Walter was in one of my most favorite movies, People Will Talk.  He plays Cary Grant's sidekick.  Erika and I were on maternity leave at the same time back in the day.  Both times.
And right here, I lost half my post.  I don't know how and I'm pretty sure I can't rewrite it with the same spark as I had yesterday.  I was on a tear and related to you all about Vicki Lord and her husband and ex and her kids and her best friend/worst enemy, Dorian Lord.(her step mother)  
Let it suffice to say that it was witty and well written, not unlike soaps at their best.
Good bye, Erica.  Good bye, Vicki.  I will miss your ups and downs, loves and losses, and your general turmoil.  It's been a great run.

The Most Beautiful Girl In The World

According to  People magazine, Jennifer Lopez is the most beautiful woman in the world.  I think she is beautiful and talented and seems like a really nice girl when she is on American Idol.  She has a lovely face, a smokin' hot body and she's a mom. And have you seen those hair ads she's been doing?  WOW!  I was happy to hear she was chosen.
But today, the flack has begun.  People on the Internet(real people not the magazine) are saying she is not beautiful. That she's been chosen because she is on American Idol.  Some say she's been on People's list too many times.  Someone even said "meh" about her.
You know, I'd love to see these naysayers.  I bet they are average like most of us.  They really outdo most of us in judgmentalness.  I know that  isn't a real word but I just made it up as it fits the anti-Jens.  Hmm. I just made up that word too.  You know, as an average person, I enjoy looking at beautiful people of both sexes but I would never feel I could judge who is the most beautiful.
I think back to that old song, The Most Beautiful Girl In the World written by Rogers and Hart.  The gist of the song is that the most beautiful girl in the world is the one you love and who makes you see the world as a wonderful place.  Who can argue with that?  And who can judge that?  I saw Jimmy Durante sing it to Martha Raye in Jumbo.  Look them up if you don't know them and you'll see that I'm right. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I don't know what criteria People magazine uses for choosing the most beautiful...I'm thinking they are somewhat objective but so what if they aren't.  So maybe JLo is on American Idol and has a new album coming out but so what?  She's still beautiful and I think we should all just relax and enjoy the view.

Well...that's a Deep Subject

Well, I am making progress.  I can actually breathe a little without screaming in pain.  I can reach things at eye level and waist level.  I can bend down very very carefully if I do a giant plie--very slowly.  I can fold laundry and put it in the dryer or the washer.  I can get it out if I am really careful.
I can't dig in my freezer yet so DH has to be the housewife.  He's doing pretty well but needs some more practice which I'm pretty sure he'll be getting in the coming days.   As he says, one step at a time.  Husbands were not made to be housewives.  I have to say I never got those stay at home dads.  I'll bet the DW spend a lot of time cleaning up what the stay at home dad forgot to do.  Just saying.
I still can't sleep laying down.  I might roll over onto my rib and that would be really bad.  I still can't laugh very much because it hurts.  Also can't make any fast moves.
I have to give up exercising for 4 weeks.  I'm sure I will be completely out of shape by then!  It is driving me crazy that I can't go.  To be honest, I was getting a little tired of the routine but now that I can't go that's all I want to do!  Crazy, huh?
I tried taking a short walk over the weekend and well, you can just forget it.  It hurt!  No kidding, just a little walk down to the end of the street and back.  I guess you don't realize how much your bones all work together to keep you going.  I need to consult Dr. Oz about that.  I've been seeing a lot more of him as I have seen a lot more television in general.  Yesterday, the TW crew was working on the cable box outside of my house and I missed about 53 minutes of All My Children and I was pissed!  I know I can watch it on line any time I want but I wanted to watch it then and there. 
Since our soaps seem to be doomed to cancellation, I don't want to miss any of them if I don't have to.  I made an exception for vacation because that's how I roll.  TV and vacation don't mix unless your watching the weather channel in my humble opinion.
Well, at least I can type and read although I haven't held up a book yet.  Not sure how that would go.  I have to tell my kids I really need that I pad or a Nook or something.  They aren't so heavy as a book.
I can also do my crossword puzzle every day so my brain doesn't completely atrophy.
Oh, and I can drive....a little.  I drove to the doctor and my sister's yesterday(both about 6 minutes away) and last night I was exhausted and a little sore too.  So today I will stay home so I can go out a little tomorrow.  I'm no dummy!
Well, that's my current situation.  I still stand by my advice:  Just Don't do it!!

Just Dont Do It

Don't break your rib.  Don't crack your rib.  Don't bruise your rib.  I did one of those( the crack) and let me tell you the pain is unbelievable.  It happened Tuesday in one of those you won't believe this situations.  Really, I was washing my hair and that's all you're getting.  Just trust me, it really hurts....a lot.
Breathing hurts.  Coughing really hurts and in the bathroom, well, you don't even want to know.
Don't laugh either.   Don't reach for anything or bend down or reach up.  Don't get up from your chair....oh, wait you have to, Ouch!  
Don't lay down.  Sleep sitting up in the same chair.  
Go to the emergency room.  Take the drugs even if they have side effects.  Side effects go away but not the pain.  Drugs just take the edge off.
Be prepared to fall asleep often.  It's the drugs.  It can't be helped.
Don't drive.  Don't try to exercise in any way.
Don't ask how long it will last.  You probably don't want to know.
Take showers and let the water hit you where it hurts most.  That is temporary relief.
I know I sound like a big baby and maybe I am.  Some people have intense chronic pain and I have a new respect for them, believe me.  Especially if their drugs work as "well" as mine do.
Just take my advice, won't you.  It is really good advice!

Tsunamis, Earthquakes and Other Things

God bless those poor people in Japan....and New Zealand.  I know I'm a little late on the New Zealand thing but I'm sure all is not back to normal.
Isn't it creepy to think how fast something like that can happen?  Without warning?
I'm one of those people who likes things to stay the same and familiar.  That makes events like this twice as scary for me.  You can't  anticipate a natural disaster like that and it might effect you directly or just the people in the next town or even the next street.
Hopefully, in times like this we all behave at our best.  Not counting looters.  Although, in Japan today it didn't look like anyone had any time for looting.  They were too busy running for their lives.
We focus a lot on bad behaviors.  On the news, they talk about bullying and terrorism and despots.  People generally treat one another pretty poorly if you listen to them.  So it cheered me to see that the whole world's attention was grabbed by a video of a baby who laughed its head off over his dad tearing up paper.  The kid even made it on television.
I was glad to know that the best of us still attracted as much attention as the worst of us.  They should run it on Jumbotrons in Japan in a few days to help people smile--at least a little.

Some Free Advice

Mike Huckabee, why don't you spend your time thinking of ways to create jobs rather than take potshots at Natalie Portman and her unborn child?  What she chooses to do is none of your business.  You're a politician--help fix the economy, lower taxes, fix Social Security.  That should really  keep you too busy to do sound bites about celebrities.
Rush Limbaugh, leave Mrs. Obama alone.  She isn't fat.  She is encouraging people(especially the young) to live a healthy lifestyle.  You are no slim pickin's yourself.  Don't talk about someone who probably weighs less than you do. Oh yes, and if she eats something she "shouldn't" every once in a while....it's none of your business...or mine, for that matter.
You people in the crowd that verbally attacked some citizens who might or might not be Muslims.  Did you ever hear of freedom of religion?  It's why the Pilgrims came here in the first place.  Oh, I know you have a right to express your views because of freedom of speech but to families and children, I mean, little children.  What is the matter with you?  Freedom of speech doesn't mean you have the right to verbally assault someone until they are frightened.  Stay home and tend to your own children.
You people who picket soldier's funerals.  Did you ever hear of kindness?  How about respect?  How about mind your own business?  I know the Supreme Court supported you.  They are wrong.  Do you remember how you felt when someone close to you died?  These kids die horrible deaths for the likes of you and me.
Oh, yes and did you ever hear that God is Love????  Not just love for you but for everyone.  I learned that in Sunday School when I was five years old.  Stay home and read up on God's love.
If any of you aforementioned folks read this blog, I know advice is cheap and you will never take mine because I'm a nobody. But really, it's time to stop all this and look into yourselves and try and find peace of mind so that you and your neighbors or your First Lady or your movie stars can too.

One Thing Leads to Another

We painted our bathroom and we ended up swapping out handles, door knobs, shower head and hinges because once you do one of those things the other things look......well, used.  I used to think that painting was easy-peesy but it does kind of snowball.
Take our kitchen for example.  I wanted to paint but I also wanted a new backsplash.  I didn't want to paint where the backsplash would go but it turned out I had to because you could see a tiny slash of the old color between the appliances and we couldn't have that.  Then as I removed the painters' tape from one of the wall cabinet, it seemed loose.  OHMYGOSH, the whole cabinet was coming apart and all my dishes were in there!  Painting and backsplashing stopped and emptying the cabinet became the number one priority.  Good thing we noticed it or one day we may have had a catastrophe!
Catastrophe averted and my DH thinks he can fix the cabinet.  Anyway, while we scrutinized the cabinet we thought the hardware doesn't suit our new kitchen and we need new handles all over our kitchen.  So now I have to find something that suits it and me.
And you know, you think you are so clean.  If you move your stove and your fridge, I bet you'll change your mind.  Even behind my hutch, it was pretty dusty and cobwebby and I thought I cleaned behind there at least....every six months or so.  HAHA!  You better believe I'll be getting back behind there once a week now that I saw it.
Anyway, if you have a painting project in mind(especially a kitchen) I have some advice for you.  Be ready to clean up sticky, greasy messes and have a mop and broom on hand.  Don't be shocked by what you see just clean it up and be done with it.  A painting project doesn't mean just paint.  Don't let those experts on HGTV fool you.  They must have a team of lackeys that do the clean up before they come to paint.  If you don't have a team of lackeys then you have to do it yourself. 
Oh, and don't forget to tape.  Tape is your friend. Tape keeps the paint off the woodwork and the ceiling and anything else you don't want paint on.  If you forget to tape, you have to stop painting and do it right then or you will be scraping off paint years down the road and you will be cursing your self.  If you don't believe me, read my blog on nail polish remover.  That is something that is handy to have around also...before painting or even taping to get the old stuff off the woodwork you previously didn't tape.
Actually, when it comes to a painting project, painting is the easiest and fastest part of the job.  So be prepared for any eventuality......your cabinets could be secretly falling apart too!

SAG

SAG are my initials and I am doing my darnedest to live up to them.  You see, I am sagging everywhere.  The first thing that started to sag was my butt.  It is so saggy now it has disappeared.  Did you see Lady Gaga in the black ...um....outfit at the Grammys?  It molded over her but and I wish I had that but I would wear it on the inside of my pants not the outside.
Beside my saggy butt, my boobs are saggy too.  I know there are all kinds of jokes about sagging boobs and even greeting cards but to tell the truth I didn't notice it much until my son's birthday.  His girl took a pic of our family and my boobs are almost at my waist!  When did that happen?  It sure sneaked up on me.  I feel like I need one of those iron bras like the divas in the opera wear(and Bugs Bunny for that matter) to hold 'em up where they belong.  Obviously, my present bra just isn't doin' it.
My face sags now too.  I know one can get a facelift nowadays.  I hate pain though.  I could probably get Botox but that just scares me.  See, I am allergic to bees....and I hate snakes.  So if it's bee venom or snake venom, I just think I would be injected and probably become horribly disfigured instead of uplifted.
My mouth turns down and my jowls jiggle just a little.  It is a little frustrating.
Well, sagging is not the worse thing that can happen to you.  Actually, it is probably nothing to even mention.  But if you read this, you know me.  I had to mention it.  Especially when I thought of the Initials thing.  Come on, it was inevitable that I would write about it!
So the next time you see me you won't be shocked or surprised if I am saggy.  Just don't call me SAG!

Su.s.an

Well, it is official.  I am an oldie.  Really, an oldie.  I just watched the Grammies and half of the time I didn't know what they were singing about or who they were or if they were even singing at all.  The group that won the album of the year I never even heard of and their performance was all strobe lights and guys riding bikes and someone screaming into a bullhorn while a couple girls played violins and another beat a drum.  I couldn't get passed the strobes.  Now I know why they say they can cause epileptic fits.  I almost had one and I don't even have epilepsy.
The young women hardly had any clothes on.  Not in a pretty or scanty kind of way--the costumes looked like ugly bathing suits gone wild to me. Lady Gaga even had some weird prosthetics on her head and her shoulder.  She changed clothes at least once but when she got her award she was wearing something that looked like a Lego snap on suit.  It was heavy plastic molded over her body....even the butt cheeks.  To tell the truth, since I have no butt, I was a little jealous of that part.  The boobs had hooks on them?????????
Not that the folks representing my generation did much better.  Barbra Streisand sang like a timorous mouse and Kris Kristofferson looked downright feeble.
Bob Dylan performed and you could barely understand a word he said and he had a bunch of kids for back up which he needed....badly.  Mick Jagger pranced around the stage singing YO yo yo.  All I could think was that even though he has a lot of youthful energy if he took his clothes off he'd look like Mr. Burns on The Simpsons!
I loved Eminem.  I can't help myself.   He reminds me of my kids at school back in the day.  Even when he raps about terrible things, I can't help myself... I just love him.  Frankly, I never understand a word he raps but that's ok.  I'm sure he could care less.
I loved Will.i.am wearing his red leather gloves.  I want them.  Oh and now I am a fan of B.O.B.  Apparently I can't get enough of those names with periods.   I am now going by Su.s.an as you saw above. It's pronounced  Su- Ess- Ann.   If you run into me, feel free to use my new moniker.  It is the only thing new about me because as I stated earlier, I am an oldie.  And you'll recognize me by my disappearing butt.

Tea For Two

I'm getting ready to serve my Book Club a lovely "low" tea.  Did you know that a high tea really means an entire meal with an entree and everything?  Well, I didn't know until I started looking for recipes that would work for me and my group.
There will be little sandwiches with cucumber or tuna or shrimp salad or cream cheese.  There will be scones with jam and lemon curd with Devonshire cream.  We are serving tiny little cupcakes and shortbread dipped in dark chocolate.
Doesn't that all sound yummy?  Add in some mixed nuts and some Valentine candy and you have the whole menu.  I have 6 different kinds of tea also.
It is the second anniversary of our Book Club so we are pulling out the stops(so to speak)!

The only real problem is the weather.  It is supposed to snow like crazy and some of the women might not feel like driving.  Then it will be a tiny group--possibly even tea for two.  I'm hoping everyone will be brave and show up--otherwise my DH will be taking finger sandwiches to work for lunch!!  Won't he love that?

Magic Elixir

Well, I've been painting my bathroom and I was so shocked to see how much paint I had gotten on my woodwork in the past.  It was downright embarrassing.  So I looked up on the Internet how to remove paint from wood and they suggested a product which made me gag and get a little light headed.
I toyed with the idea of painting the woodwork but then I thought I'd try something in the least noticeable spot and guess what, I found the answer to my problem.
I used nail polish remover and it took that latex paint off in no time--even stuff that had been there for years! It did take some of the sheen off the woodwork but nothing a little orange oil couldn't fix and they look practically brand new.
So I love nail polish remover.  I used it to get old paint off the door knobs too and it worked like a champ.
Who'd have thought the answer to my problem would be right in the cupboard?
Oh, nail polish remover, thanks for being you.  I love you now more than ever.  I just wish you could see what you have done.

Reason Number 5,000 to Hate the Dentist

I am a strong and healthy woman.  I work out.  I eat well.  I got some upper respiratory thing a few weeks back and was laid out but good but I have gotten better, went back to working out and felt my strength returning.  I even made a comment to that effect on Friday.
So today I headed to the dentist for my 6 month check-up and ended up waiting in the outer office for just a little while.  The lady sitting across from me sneezed twice and I said,"Bless you."
End of story, right?
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!
An hour later, I felt a tickle in my nose and started sneezing uncontrollably.  My daughter said she thought I wasn't feeling well.  I have been sneezing and my nose is running and I've gone through a half a box of tissues.  I AM SICK!        AGAIN!!  NO FAIR!!!  Take Back your cold, Lady!!!!!!  I don't want it.

So today, I'm calling off from working out, I'm in bed and under the covers.  I'm hoping this is just an allergy attack.  It will be gone tomorrow, right?  It better be or I'm tracking down the lady in the dentist's office.

Still Sinking

Well, it looks beautiful..................but it leaked all over my cabinet on the interior.  Good thing I caught it or a lot of damage could have been done.
They are coming back tomorrow and he said don't use the sink.
DUH!

That Sinking Feeling

I am getting a new sink today for my kitchen.  I bet you are thinking you must be excited but you'd be wrong.  Instead I'm just worried that something else will go wrong.
Something else, you ask?
Yes, it took us forever to order the sink and faucet and the detailing(that means they come out and assess the job in case you didn't know).  The guy who was setting it all up seemed to be not as smart as a fourth grader if you get my drift.
Then the detailer never called so I called the store and they apologized and had him call the next day.  He came and checked it out, said it could be done and the store would call me.
Well, they didn't.  So I called them and the guy just said to come in and pay and we'd be fine.  That seemed a little iffy to me and when I talked to the installer he said he needed paper work, some hook up lines and silicone and they would charge me at the store.
So last night, my husband went to pay after I spent a half hour on the phone with the store figuring things out because we already paid for the sink and faucet--just needed to pay for the install.  So they charged us twice.  Really.  Twice.  They credited the first charge and made a new transaction.
SO last night I checked out to make sure I had enough money in the account in case the credit didn't go through first which of course it didn't.  I just knew it!!
SO today the installer called me and told me that he is on his way to the store and then he'd be over.  That was an hour ago.  Unless he lives really far from the store, I'm starting to get  nervous.  I'm sweating.  It's 20 degrees outside and I'm sweating.
If my beautiful sink doesn't get in today I am going to be one angry blogger.  I may even reveal the name of the store so they better get on the ball.
I'll let you know what happens.

Seeing Red

The Red Carpet that is!  I always get the biggest kick out of the glam gowns and I love to let my inner designing diva escape for just a little while and pick my best and worst.  Here they are:
I loved the way Claire Danes looked.  Her dress was a beautiful color and she looked like a million bucks in the most understated way.

Olivia Wilde looked beautiful too.  I love her gown and the simplicity of her hair.  I didn't know who she was until yesterday.  Sorry, I don't watch House.

I thought Emma Stone looked beautiful.  She looked a lot like Claire Danes.  Maybe they're sisters and don't know it!  I still don't know what she was in but this isn't a movie critique after all!

I thought JLo looked wonderful.  This picture doesn't do the dress justice.  She is just such a pretty woman and apparently Alec Baldwin thought so too.  Doesn't he still think he looks like he did in the eighties??  I think he was majorly flirting with her...like she would go for him.

Some people loved this dress--mostly men.  I thought she looked like an overdressed hula girl...or an underdressed lamp shade.  Hate the fringe!  At least it seemed like she was sober this year.

I'd love to meet the stylist who talked Julianne Moore into this piece of crap.  It is awful in every way.

I saved the best til last.  Oh, I just love her.  She is so out there and she looks so ridiculous and doesn't her pose just say "go ahead and criticize me, I don't care"?  Of course she looks crazy..she married Tim Burton after all, what do you expect?
That wraps up my best and worst for this year's Golden Globes.  Oh and Foreign Press?  Dump that Ricky Gervais.  He is one mean spirited man and needs to be gone.

Lost Identity

I have been a Scorpio all my life........until yesterday!
What do they mean there's another zodiac sign?   I have all the personality traits of a Scorpio  and now they claim I am a Libra.  Say what?   I have to trade in my fiery personality for one that is even-keeled?
Well, ok.
I like the thought that things will be more even and I will keep the peace rather than stir up the pot.  I can be gentler and less opinionated.  Sounds like a plan especially since I am older now.
Sexiness was one of the traits of Scorpio and believe you me, I am way beyond sexy these days.  Oh, not to the max but to the minimum.  Especially this week when I have been sick and probably blew my nose about a gazillion times in the last five days.  Not to mention, the coughing and the whining.  Not very sexy, believe you me.
 This is what  I found out about Libras

• Desires popularity  check
• Loves art yes
• Neat mostly
• Dresses up for the occasion only when forced
• Slight perfectionist not really
• Narcissistic of course aren't we all at least a little?
• Charitable Yes
• Bossy at times Oh, yes indeedy
• Plans ahead I try
• Attention to detail I try
• Loves public service Well, I was a teacher for 34 years.  I think that counts.
• Well, I guess I am a Libra and all this time I thought I was a Scorpio.

• So ....What's your sign?

Dear Mr. President

I know you are a busy man but you should always write your own speeches.  Last night in Tucson, you were amazing, inspiring and the man I remembered from your campaign.
I know the stress of being President must be enormous(I've noticed the white hairs) but YOU are the reason people voted for you.  You have vision, intelligence and kindness.   You respect the youngest members of our community and want them to have a better life than we have.
Hold on to those thoughts ...and carry on.  And never forget the applause that followed your words.

Watch the Birdie

Famed scientist and genius biology expert, Kirk Cameron doesn't know why all those birds fell out of the sky.  So no one can answer the question of what happened.
What?  Kirk Cameron is not a scientist?  He's a former teenage television star?  Oh my gosh, and I thought all hope was lost.  I mean if he couldn't explain it, who could?  After all, didn't he make those Left Behind movies?  Surely, that seals his expertise on birds.
Me!  I can explain it.  It is an unusual natural occurrence that happens once in a blue moon.  Is it foretelling?  Heck if I know.  Is it the Apocalypse...probably not. Will it be the start of a ppandemic? I sure hope not. Is it a little sad and a little scary.  You betcha!  That's not much of an explanation either.
If Kirk can't explain it and I can't do it either, who is left?
We obviously don't trust real scientists.  If they knew they probably wouldn't tell us.  The government can't help either.  We already know they never tell the whole truth.
Wait.......................................I know.  


Let's ask Alan Thicke!

The Heatles

Oh really, LeBron?  Next you'll be telling us you are more popular than God and that got John Lennon into a ton of trouble and there weren't the plethora of right wing Christians there are now.
You better watch your back.
On the other hand, it's kind of funny.  If you think that you're that great check out the album with you and your other Heatles.....I mean, come on.