Dial M for Murder

I never thought the "M" in murder would stand for me!  My weapon of choice?  Milk and a sandwich.  Say what, you ask?  Let me explain.
I recently spent some time with DD and I suggested she try not eating gluten products for the time we were together to test a theory I had.  She did and when she got home Friday night, she told me that she felt SO much better but then she had eaten a sandwich on Thursday and felt crummy again.  So AHA! I was right.
We set out yesterday for Whole Foods to buy some gluten free products that aren't always available.  As we drove along, she was talking about how the sandwich had made her feel and I had a sudden realization.  I had been feeding her sandwiches for 20 years.  She always had a goofy stomach so when she complained we just thought she was a little complainer.
Then to compound matters, she has discovered she is lactose intolerant and hasn't drunk milk in years.  Three guesses what I gave her every day to wash down that sandwich?  You guessed it, MILK!
OMG!  I said to her. Honey, I've been trying to kill you for years!!  Luckily, I was an utter failure as a murderer and hopefully, not an utter failure as a mother.  We had a good laugh but not as good as when I told her not to worry that Elizabeth Hasselback would save her!  She has Celiac's disease and wrote a gluten-free cookbook.
Talk about being saved by the belle.